When I'm drunk, I feel good....

I have a weird wife. As long as I've lived, I can't get used to her. No matter what I do, I do everything wrong...It frustrates me all the time. I feel like a chronic loser. Did you get her flowers? The wrong ones! "You know what my favorites are." Invited me to a cafe, "I don't want to...you know I like to stay home." I eat the "wrong" food, the "unhealthy" food. I wear the wrong clothes, "unfashionable". I have a belly, "you're not athletic". I say the wrong thing in company. In general...I'm under some kind of stress all the time. And when she married me, everything was "the same." I don't know when it became "it's not like that." And the ones who do everything "that way" are the "girlfriends' husbands". They do it this way, and I don't do it that way. I want to meet these "holy men." And ask them how they got to this point. And recently, my wife has developed a new habit. First she asks me to do something, I try to do the best I can to match it. And she does the opposite. And everything I start doing, I have to redo it. That's even worse. It's destroying me as a person. I don't see the results of my labor and I'm constantly redoing some mistakes. I can't take it anymore. My friends advise me to ignore it and live. But how can I ignore her? We live together. and I started just taking alcohol. I have a drink and I'm easy and I have fun and I don't mind that I'm a loser. She starts yelling that I'm an alcoholic. But I don't care in that state and I can tell her, "No, I'm doing the right thing." But when I'm sober, I have to endure a scandal after such a boldness of mine....