I just want to share everything that helped me on my journey (fighting anxiety and depression), in the hope someone with similar issues will read this and get inspired.

I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression basically since school, but I first visited a therapist only when I was 34. I guess I reached that point in my life when it was “fight or die” stage. My anxiety was so severe I could barely leave my appartment let alone make it to a psychiatrist’s. I had to reschedule my first sessions and postponed them for almost 3 weeks, until my anxiety to get a rejection was higher than the horror of attending. People who have never been in my shoes do not understand that all the good and reasonable suggestions to eat healthy food, do exercises and sleep well are simply irrelevant when you can barely get out of bed. These things are definitely correct, but they won’t lift you up by themselves when your body is deficient of all the good things and your mind is reeling with thoughts “you’ll never get better”. I regret that I avoided medication and getting diagnosed for so long, just because I believed it was giving up. It’s right the opposite: when you’re a misfunctioning hopeless human being, you’re giving up! When you find the strengths to ask for help, you’re making steps towards healing. I’ve been taking medications ever since and see a psychologist regularly. I found a job that suits my needs, after a year of guilty procrastination. My social life has improved so much that I can actually meet new people and am making first tentative efforts to get back to good physical state.

Here’re some crucial changes that immensely helped me after I’ve started therapy:

* Hybrid work, which later turned to contract work. I’ve been stuck in that duality thniking that there’s either a full-time office job or no job, and nothing else can pay my bills. That’s such a ton of bullshit! A stressful job is your one-way ticket to burnout, panic attacks, and depression. You are not your job, don’t waste your health on it.

* Very strict diet. I don’t mean avoid junk food. I mean, forget about snacks, coffee, sugary stuff, and alcohol. I went gluten-free, and I believe it made a difference. This may sound like depriving yourself of the joys of food. Trust me, if you have problems with your gut (and 90% of people with mental health problems do), all your other attempts will get nowhere until you fix your gut. Everything is interconnected in the body.

* Forget about all social networks and all news outlets, except messengers (focused communication). The world is not your problem, until you solve your own problems.

* Nature and animals. Again, the first advice for people fighting social anxiety is to find friends, to socialize more... When your battery is super low, you won’t find the energy to connect with people. And they won’t have any idea what’s happening in your life, so social situations may only get you down and increase your feelings of anxiety and “loser moments”. I began my journey to inner harmony with reading books on human brain, depression and healthy habits. I have no beaches or mountains nearby, so I went out of my way to drive to the nearest wilderness every weekend. I had to make myself do it the first few times, but now it’s a habit, and it motivated me to start cycling. Most importantly, it helped me find my way to me, and stop worrying about lacking something, like relationships, etc.

To sum up, the journey out of complete darkness is dead hard. But everyone can do it, starting with professional help. Thanks for reading!

Hello! One of my patients has been dealing with a lot of work stress recently, and we've been working on ways to avoid burnout. Let me share some practical exercises that you might find helpful.

First exersice is called "The Gratidude Journal". Let's learn how to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Take a moment to write down three achievements that you're grateful for today. Even if you may have accomplished something small today, like mastering Google Forms, take note of it. It's the small victories that add up to a successful life. The key to this exercise is consistency. Even if it feels like nothing noteworthy happened today, try to jot down those three points. You'll be amazed at how much better you will feel in just a few days.

Let's move on to the second exercise. Do you feel the constant need to grow, develop, and be effective? All of these feelings can lead to stress and burnout. Thoughts like "If I don't develop, I will degrade," "Without me everything will fall apart," and "I won't be needed by everyone if I'm not the best" add worry, tension, and stress, leading to exhaustion and lack of energy.

Today I'd love to tell you how to track and change our thoughts to influence our emotions and behavior. 

- Start by writing down all the work demands swirling around in your head. When you see them in front of your eyes, you are much less critical of them.

- Evaluate how true these thoughts are. Will your company go bankrupt if you don't complete all the tasks today? Can you control everything by spending all your time on the phone?

- Do you really think you are terribly illiterate, unqualified, and unsuccessful? Could it be that you are exaggerating your failures? If so, why do you think that?

- Ask yourself "why do you need this?" Why do you need to constantly think about tasks or work? What should change in your life as a result?

If you have thoughts of being successful or effective, don't rob yourself of them. Instead, ask yourself why you need these thoughts and how they may help or hinder you. Think about what more appropriate thoughts you could replace old ideas with. For example, instead of constant work for 24 hours, it could be thought "If I answer messages twice a day instead of all 24 hours, the world won't fall apart, but I will be more focused and calm."

Finally, one more great news. Together with FeelYou team we are working on a complete course that will teach you more about the roots of burnout and how to address this issue.

Coming soon.

I work long hours as a waiter. Though I dislike the job, it pays for my basic necessities like rent, bills, and food. My goal was to work and study after work to achieve my dream job in the next few years. However, my depression and the work burnout make it challenging to focus on anything else after work. Once I get home, I eat dinner, walk my dog, and pass out from fatigue. The socializing and mental strain at work take so much energy that I have none left for studies.

On weekends, I resort to playing video games and drinking alcohol to find some peace of mind. Although it's probably not genuine, it's the only escape from my routine. This cycle is becoming unbearable. Any ideas how to break it?

I’ve been going to therapy to treat my general anxiety disorder and also to avoid work burnout. My therapist is very respectful and knowledgeable, she’s been at it for 40 years at least. I’ve had nagging pains in my low back and joints for months, and after many visits to several doctors, their final diagnosis was fibromyalgia. I've shared this with my therapist, and she validated my chronic pain and fatigue. However, she says it’s triggered by constant stress and my GAD, and she recommends me to start taking antidepressants.

I’m in doubts. On the one hand, I’ve been with my therapist for more than 3 years, and I trust her completely. She’s helped me with seasonal depression and other issues many times. On the other hand, I don’t feel that my pain is psychological, and I’m a little uncomfortable to further share it with my therapist now. I don’t know how to handle this.