Hello, Tyler. I know what BPD is like, my brother suffers from it. You should try to look at it from your parentsā perspective. They want the best for you, even though they canāt walk in your shoes. I wonder if youāve ever tried to refocus your anger about your situation towards your illness? Iāve been present at two sessions with my brother so far, and thatās what theyāve been trying with his therapist. Itās not your fault, itās the illness that forces you to self-sabotage. You can resist it, itās in your power not to do what it wants you to do. I know how overpowering these moments can be, and I hope that youāre also taking some medication to help you. I hope you'll find ways to cope with your episodes!
Iām so sorry youāre going through this. I donāt have borderline personality disorder, but Iāve had one deeply terrifying moment in my life when I woke up in the hospital not remembering anything, and they told me I had been violent. It was because of my addiction to alcohol. I canāt believe that pain is the only possible way out. Your doctor should know how to help you control it.
Isolation is ruining us all. Do you live alone? If so, perhaps you can try listening to music or turning your TV on to hear something other than the voices in your head. You should at least try to replace your self-harm coping mechanism with something else. What about cold showers? That would snap me out of anything! Think of something personal that triggers your reward system and allows you to avoid bad thoughts.
Please do not give up. With a bit of effort and some time, you can change anything. If you need some hard sensation to keep you in the present, how about holding ice cubes in your hands? Itās unpleasant enough, and it doesnāt leave any permanent damage. You can try to stand up or just stop doing whatever you were doing at the moment and allow yourself to move, or scream ā anything that calms you down a little and keeps the urge to self-harm at bay. Iāve read many other stories of people who successfully replaced the urge with better routines. It may be frustrating at first, but you can do it!
I believe meds are the first line of treatment for BPD, have you tried it or do you consciously prefer therapy? Your family members do not want to cause you any more pain. They simply worry about your physical state, and itās hard for them to correlate this pattern with your mental problem. Your body is your ally, you should take care of it. I donāt know much about replacement strategies, yet Iām sure there is something you can try.
@Lucas Guillemette No, I live with my parents. Iām not alone most of the day, only sometimes on Fridays. Iāve tried music, and itās not enough. I like playing computer games, but I'm not usually at my computer when my episodes happen...
@Fergus MacWilliam I hate harming my body, and I value all the things it does for me. I only say that sometimes it feels like the best option to beat my feelings. Also, Iām taking meds, yes. We changed them a couple of times because the first one was making me apathetic and silly.
Hi, I can assure you there are effective treatments for self-harm that will allow you to feel in control again. As someone has already mentioned, you need to search for other coping mechanisms. For example, have several extra cups or any other replaceable things at hand that you can break when you feel the urge to harm. Or you can do some very hard physical exercises that will leave you breathless and out of energy. Your therapist may help you come up with alternatives that work for you.
Breaking self-harm habits is absolutely possible. It's not a fast or easy process, and itāll be smoother if you have the support of someone you trust. Youāve got only one body, and your brain is useful too, even if it makes you suffer on occasion. Please reach out to your therapist, give her a chance to understand you and why youāre doing it. If youāre sure she canāt do that, please talk to your family about changing your therapist.
Hi,
I understand what you are going through is tough. i understand the feeling of intense sadness and range of other emotions you feel which sometimes cause you to self harm. Behaving such a way does not make you a terrible person. You just need to understand your emotions, your triggers and challenge your assumptions that self harm is not the only way to deal with it. Kindly go to another therapist whom you feel can help, guide and understand you. Your life is precious.
Therapist will help you. People with BPD are sensitive to stress so stressful situations will activate symptoms related to the conditions. Managing symptoms starts by understanding emotions, thoughts and memories. Therapist would teach you physical and mental exercises to understand the triggers and develop skills to manage them. You need to understand what triggers this behaviour in you.
Therapist can use :
Next time if you have thought of self harm can you try this instead:
see if this works.
if you feel you are losing touch with reality can you try these:
You can also keep a mood diary where you could write down your moods and this could help you spot patterns of triggers or notice early signs when they are beginning to happen. Try writing down difficult thoughts and feelings which will help you get them out of your head. You can reflect on them when you feel calmer. You could also write down what is going good in your life. It is important to be kind to yourself and recognise difficult steps you have taken this far in your life.
remember we are there to listen to you.
it is important to take care of yourself, recognise your triggers and work with a therapist which treatment will help you. By committing to care and learning you can make a difference in your quality of life.