Borderline personality disorder

I am Mashiyath Rifa Ehsan from Bangladesh. I am suffering from mental depression from 2008 during which I was 16 years old. Till now at 2023 it turned into borderline personality disorder. My elder sister is a sablian and an LGBT. She has been abusing me physically, mentally and sexually since childhood. Things turned worst from 2005 when she joined a Chartered Accountant firm where she got into some troubles ànd fell herself into depression. From then she created a living hell in my life. I am on psychiatric medications and sleeping pills. With the support of my parents she found a wild chance to suppress me and oppress me. Now my parents uses medicines to divulge and derail my mind so that I forget everything and wish and pray best for her and carry on my life on their terms and whims/wishes. They do not care about seeking proper treatment and counselling for me. There is always intensive family financial crisis. Treatment in Bangladesh is very expensive añd non efficient. What will I do and what can I be able to do, I do not know. Can you offer me time for my healing? I am so lethared and derailed that I cannot even open my cell phones during the morning. I attempted suicide many times. I have become violwnt and agitated and break and throw things.I do not know what to do. Neither so I have money to seek treatment nor my parents are interested in seeking treatment for my mental health. Feel like finishing off my life.