I'm sorry, I don't need help. I just wanted to express my frustration.

After almost a year of depression I can finally say, that I'm not as depressed anymore. But now I feel anger. I don't know whether it's hypomania speaking in me, or whether it's me, who's just so frustrated and baffled at the fact, that I actually didn't get any emotional support during those times from my friends and relatives, from closest people around me.

I couldn't protect myself during those times. I felt extreme guilt, I felt like a failure, that I don't deserve any good. I was so vulnerable, so fragile, yet people around me considered it to be their duty to tell me that I'm not trying hard enough, that I'm just a fool who's stupid enough to not figure out how to live his life. My mother always reminded me how I'm being a burden for her, how I instead should've been a support for others. My friends suggested that maybe I don't want things that I was trying to achieve hard enough. I always felt shame for seeking for someone who could understand me. As if I was just seeking attention and pettiness. NO. I was seeking emotional help and support that I didn't get in the slightest. I'm so thankful that at the end of the day I turned out to be strong enough to bare those challenges despite having such incompetent friends and relatives.

I understand why they were as they were. Because affective mental disorders aren't considered to be a big deal. You seem perfectly normal, you're not screaming out of your mind. What's the problem then? Sometimes I feel "depressed" as well, I just try not to be consumed by it, I just think about my responsibilities and blah blah blah. I just want to return to times when i heard this bullshit and say shut the fuck up, just shut up. You have no idea what people are going through, nobody is asking you how are you dealing with your so called "depression". If person says that he's suffering don't minimize his problem, don't project your insecurities on him. If you can't help, just say sorry I can't help you, don't make things worse. Try to learn things if you don't understand them at least for your closest friends and relatives.

For those who's suffering: I'm with you. If people tell or suggest even in a slightest way that you're not trying hard enough, fuck them. They are fools who know nothing about hard challenges that you're going through every day. You're trying your best, even if you're just staying alive its enough. You are strong.

hey there everyone, just been doing some deep thinking lately, y'know? it's like, i'm just sitting here on this big ol' planet of ours, right in the midst of this massive universe, and i'm thinking... why? like, why are we here? does anyone else find it kinda strange that we exist? i mean, we're all just living on a ball floating in space

every day, i wake up, i get dressed, i go to work. it's like i'm on autopilot or something, just following this pre-set program. i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about, right? it's normal life for most of us. but every now and then, i kinda snap out of it... and i just can't shake off this feeling of how meaningless it all seems

like, what's the point of it all, really? why am i studying? why am i working? why am i trying to build relationships? i just don't get it. it's like i've been thrown into this world without any prior knowledge and told, "okay, do something"

and here i am, just trying to figure out what to do, how to spend my life, but for what? what's the end goal here? it's funny, but it's also kinda scary, y'know? i mean, i've lived a pretty normal life so far. grew up in a small town, went to school, got a job. but now, it's like i'm looking at everything through a different lens

i just keep asking myself, "what's the point?" i don't understand why we're here, why we exist

i've tried to find answers, y'know? like, i've read books, i've had long talks with friends, i've even tried to meditate, medicate etc. but nothing seems to give me the answers i'm looking for

but i'm curious, what about you guys? do you understand why you're here, what you're living for? or are you just as lost as i am? i'd love to hear your thoughts on this

I have four goals that I want to achieve this new year:

1. to have a job that makes me happy and fulfilled
2. to find a theater company in nj that I can belong to.
3. to find a group of friends I can call my second family
4. the freedom to live the live I want to live

the last one is the most important to me.

I have lived with my parents for most of my life ever since I graduated from college. I have a boyfriend of 10 years, but I’m still not sure where I see us going to be honest not that I don’t love or care about him. It’s just I’ve never had a chance to live independently or have something of my own that was just for me. I feel really guilty about it. I feel selfish but I want to have a life of my own. The other wishes correspond with the most important one if I could have these wishes come true that would be a gift more precious than any kind of gold. How can I make these wishes happen?

I want to tell my positive story. I'm not going to start out positive. I live with my wife, and I have a mistress. I don't make much money. Both women nag me. In general, one day I realized that I was "stuck" in some kind of life hole. I really wanted to "step up" somehow, to get out of the "walking in circles". No money, no normal love. I wondered what I was doing wrong in my life. I went to sit with a friend, to listen to his advice. Couldn't stand his advice because the buddy showed me a bunch of mistakes. I'm doing everything wrong! That's too much. That's when I started watching "success success" videos. They're crap. They're not even real. It took me a long time to figure out who to get advice from about my life. I didn't want to go to coaches and psychologists, it's very expensive. If I go to my parents' house...Oh!!! it'll be a week's worth of fighting. They'll tell me how bad I am and how I've done everything wrong. There was no one to take advice from. So I decided to talk to the foreman at my factory. What about him? He's a normal man, and he lives right. And the advice is free. it has to be said that the relationship is such that I don't want to tell you all the mistakes I've made in my life. I just came up to him and asked, "How do you think I can get out of my mess?". The foreman looked at me, called me over to the machine, and showed me how he made the part. "See, if I don't tell myself what I did wrong, the next one won't work." and that was all he said! A man works hard, no time to talk. I've been torturing myself and I realized! I don't admit and analyze my mistakes. That's why I make them again. This is what my parents say when they criticize me and my friend. in general, the main thing is that I "get it".It turns out that realizing your mistakes is inner freedom.