hey there everyone, just been doing some deep thinking lately, y'know? it's like, i'm just sitting here on this big ol' planet of ours, right in the midst of this massive universe, and i'm thinking... why? like, why are we here? does anyone else find it kinda strange that we exist? i mean, we're all just living on a ball floating in space
every day, i wake up, i get dressed, i go to work. it's like i'm on autopilot or something, just following this pre-set program. i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about, right? it's normal life for most of us. but every now and then, i kinda snap out of it... and i just can't shake off this feeling of how meaningless it all seems
like, what's the point of it all, really? why am i studying? why am i working? why am i trying to build relationships? i just don't get it. it's like i've been thrown into this world without any prior knowledge and told, "okay, do something"
and here i am, just trying to figure out what to do, how to spend my life, but for what? what's the end goal here? it's funny, but it's also kinda scary, y'know? i mean, i've lived a pretty normal life so far. grew up in a small town, went to school, got a job. but now, it's like i'm looking at everything through a different lens
i just keep asking myself, "what's the point?" i don't understand why we're here, why we exist
i've tried to find answers, y'know? like, i've read books, i've had long talks with friends, i've even tried to meditate, medicate etc. but nothing seems to give me the answers i'm looking for
but i'm curious, what about you guys? do you understand why you're here, what you're living for? or are you just as lost as i am? i'd love to hear your thoughts on this
Change comes from within, you need to take that first brave step into the unknown. The right opportunities will present themselves when you're open to receiving them. The theater community especially tends to be very welcoming and supportive. Your goals sound perfectly aligned with personal growth. Why does theater specifically call to your heart?
@oscarrussell Well I have always loved musical theater. There is just something so amazing about using song and dance to express how you feel. Theater community’s can become like family as well. Even if there are a few prima Donna divas from time to time. I have always felt like musical theater is a place where I can truly belong
@megan kohler That's beautiful, there's something truly magical about musical theater's ability to create those deep connections through shared passion and creativity. The way music can express emotions that words alone sometimes can't reach is powerful. It sounds like you're not just looking for a hobby, but a genuine community where you can be yourself. Have you looked into any specific theater companies in NJ yet, or what kind of roles (whether on stage or behind the scenes) you'd be most interested in pursuing?
Hi!! I don't have answers to all of your questions, but the best advice I've been given is just two listen what my heart tells me. No soul knows you more than you do, and you should do what your heart tells you to do and everything will fall into place eventually
@MAX That is really sweet. I keep hearing people say that your heart will never steer you wrong, but then I hear people telling me I think with my heart too much rather than my head. I mean, I know that you need logic and reason in your life too and not just to rely on your emotions, but can’t you do both?
@megan kohler Yes!! You totally can do both!! Your heart and head can work together, they're like best friends who sometimes argue but in the end they both want what's best for you!! I know it's super scary to think about making big changes, but honestly? Sometimes you just gotta trust yourself. Like, your heart knows what you want and your head can help figure out how to get there, but at some point you just have to go for it!! I've learned that waiting for the perfect moment means you might wait forever. Life is way too short to keep wondering "what if?" You know?
I spent 8 years with someone I truly loved. We lived together, shared everything, built a life. But deep down, I knew something wasn't right. He wanted kids, I didn't. It took me years to face this truth. I felt stuck because our lives were so tangled together. I worried about hurting him, disappointing our families, starting all over alone. The thought of leaving the comfort of our shared life scared me. But the thought of staying and compromising on something as big as having children scared me more. When I finally moved out, I cried for weeks. But slowly, day by day, I started feeling lighter. I began doing things just for me, took a painting class, even traveled alone, which I never did before
The guilt was hard. I felt selfish for choosing my path over our shared one. But I learned that being selfish isn't always bad. My ex deserved someone who wanted the same future he did, and I deserved to live true to myself. Now, two years later, I have my own place. It's small, but it's mine. I'm dating again, meeting new people, exploring what I want from life. I never regret choosing myself
Take small steps. Maybe start with a weekend trip alone. State to him that you're thinking about splitting up, maybe take a break. Look for your own place, even if you don't move right away. Staying in a situation that doesn't feel right just because you're afraid of change isn't fair to anyone. Love means letting go, even when it hurts
@acoleman276 It’s a little more complicated than that. I mean, I still love and care about him, but I want different things from life and like you I feel selfish for wanting to choose my own path. I just wish I was as brave as you. I’m scared of being alone and unloved and unaccomplished for the rest of my life. I am really happy that you were able to find some form of peace, though I just wish with all my heart that I could have the same thing
@acoleman276 awww. I'm usually just lurking, but your story touched me a lot! I did something similar last year, and even though it was super hard, I know it was right. I felt terrible, but lighter and even happier at the same time
@acoleman276 yes!! It's those little things that make such a big difference. I remember the first time I rearranged my furniture just because I felt like it, without having to discuss it with anyone. I literally sat on my couch for an hour just staring at my new setup feeling so proud!
Now it's easier for me to invite friends over, because my ex didn't like being around them a lot (red flag btw!!)
@Drea Thanks Drea! For me, the guilt was the hardest part. I look around my little apartment and feel this peace I never had before. It's like, for the first time, I can hear my own thoughts clearly. I've started doing these little things that I never did before, like having breakfast in bed on Sundays or leaving dishes in the sink if I don't feel like washing them right away. Small stuff, but it feels huge to me
@Drea That made me smile so much! And YES, this is a huge red flag! Friends are a big part of our support system, who do they think they are to cut you away from them? I've actually become a better friend to people since I moved out on my own. It's like I had all this emotional energy tied up in trying to be who I thought I should be, and now I can just be myself. I even started calling my mom more often, which is kind of ironic
There's a couple of things that can help you with all of this, that includes: therapy, being kind to yourself, not rushing yourself and just living your truth. The right opportunities will present themselves when you're ready. Rushing always stresses me out, and if that's the case for you as well, I'd really recommend slowing down a bit throughout the day to take brakes. Go for a walk, read a book. It's grounding and it helps you to detach yourself from the worries of the day. Anyways, I really hope you can achieve everything you wish for this year! And I hope my advice was even a tad helpful!
Finding your tribe takes time, but theater people are usually the most accepting and fun bunch around! I am so excited for you!! I wish I could go back to theater, but, unfortunately, I can't :')
These dreams are totally achievable with proper planning and patience! Start by creating a detailed action plan for the next month, and start making it happen! You also should definitely create a budget for independent living, look into different neighborhoods. Living on a budget would also be a great skill to learn! Taking control of your narrative means embracing both challenges and opportunities. Stay open to unexpected opportunities while working toward your goals. You got it!
I moved out when I was 33, which may sound crazy to somebody, but I'm not ashamed of it even a bit
Of course, it was later than many of my friends, but that's completely okay! The whole process of separating from my parents was really tough emotionally, though. I had a lot of anxiety and guilt about it. What helped me was reminding myself that moving out didn't mean I was abandoning my family. I still see them often, call them regularly, and our relationship actually got better because we all have our own space now. Even when it feels scary, trust yourself, you'll know when the right time comes
@Melissa I’m 34 and I’m still living with my parents, but I really wanna find my own place. I just don’t wanna live 10 hours away from my family because that’s just way too much to ask of anyone
@Melissa as someone who moved out late in my 20s this made me feel so seen and heard LOL! But seriously, why do we have to feel ashamed about this? That's just another thing that society made up to point fingers at UGH
@megan kohler I totally get that! When I moved out, I specifically looked for places within an hour's drive from my parents
It was important for me to maintain that connection while still having my independence. I found this cute little apartment in a nearby town, nothing fancy, but it was mine. The first few weeks were a mix of excitement and "oh my god what am I doing?" moments. I felt really happy when I started decorating my space exactly how I wanted it. It feels so different from when I lived at home, in a good way!
@CrawfordJ Exactly! It's like we're all expected to follow this arbitrary timeline where you graduate college, immediately move out, get married, have kids, and a white picket fence by 30. But real life is SO much messier and more complicated than that!
I actually had several friends who moved back in with their parents during the pandemic, and they saved money, strengthened their family bonds, and took time to figure out what they really wanted from life. Looking back, I realize that those extra years at home really helped me and gave me time to build up my savings and really figure out who I was as a person
Hi ✨ I've been lurking for a while on here and I've seen your posts about your bf. I want to tell you that it's okay to feel the way you do. It's not selfish at all to want to live your own life and find out who you are on your own. I think a lot of people stay in situations they're not 100% happy with because they feel guilty about wanting something different. But you're still young and it's totally fine to want to explore and grow as a person
About your goals, they all seem to point to one thing: you want to build your own identity outside of your family and relationship. That's really healthy! And I'm really excited 4 you!
I really believe you can make these wishes happen, wanting your own life doesn't mean you don't love the people in it. It just means you want to grow as a person, and that's something to be proud of, not feel guilty about ❤️
@lorilotu Thank you for the kind response. I just feel guilty because I still love and care about him, but we seem to have different goals and beliefs at times. And you are right when you say I want to build my own identity. I just wish I know how to do it.
@megan kohler As scary as it may sound, but you just have to take that leap and trust yourself
The thing is, staying in your comfort zone might feel safe, but it can also keep you from becoming who you're meant to be. And it sounds like deep down, you already know what you want, you just need permission to go for it. I really believe you've got this! ❤️
Trust me, the scariest part is usually just making that first move. But once you do? It's like this huge weight lifts off your shoulders because you're finally being true to yourself. Everyone deserves to figure out who they are and what they want. And yeah, maybe some people won't get it at first, but that's okay. The right people will support you no matter what. Nobody else can live your life for you, so you gotta be brave enough to live it for yourself