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Love and relationships
Our free therapy courses to deal with relationships issues
Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

Hi Bharti,


You have gone through a lot. Domestic violence and cheating are game changers. They damage you emotionally and you feel betrayed that it is difficult to get over it. I want to ask few questions to let you be aware and understand the situation better


Let's start with an activities:



Relationship visualization:

I want you to think about the relationship you had with that person and write down pro's and con's of it. Like you have stated con's are cheating,Domestic Violence. Do check if pro's of relationship weigh higher than the con's or con's weigh higher than pro's and answer the following

*Like are you okie to get beaten just for love

* Are you okie to live life in sadness just for this relationship .


Next I want you to visualise

* what was your aim in life or goal in life before you met this person.

If you had a aim then why is it lost and do you want to work towards your goal again or you just want to let go everything for relationship.



Connect back to old memories

*During your relationship you must have lost contact with few of your friends,family. Try reaching them for emotional support with whom you can confide your feelings.

*Try doing things like art or music etc which you loved doing it but you were not able to during this time.


* Important circle of life

Think about who are the 3 to 5 most important people in your life. Who are the people for whom you are important. Who are those people who make your life meaningful. These are the people who matter to you so go reach those people.


* Now about punishing. You have to answer

*what type of punishment do you want to give?

* If he is punished what will you gain out of it?

* once punished will you be able to let go and start finding the hope to live?

If you can answer these you will know what you want to do further.


Getting over this cheating will emotionally take lot of time. Try getting a therapy by reaching me through email.

se
sengermae
1y

Hi, I'm in shock at how much you've had to suffer. You've been through so much.... But... Tell me, why take revenge? Isn't it better to forget everything and start a new life?

se
sengermae
1y

You want to get back at him? It's what I used to live for. Revenge. Believe me, revenge as a goal is poisonous, you won't be happy until you forgive him internally and let go of the situation. Life will punish him better than you will.

bo
booble
1y

You don't have to hate yourself! You didn't do anything wrong. You were deceived, but you loved. How could you do anything differently when you loved?

ma
markscaleigh
1y

You write that you've lost hope in life. I want to say the opposite - be happy that such a bad man is out of your life! You have suffered so much from him! He even beat you and you tolerated it. don't take revenge on him, tell him thank you mentally for leaving and now you are free and can start a happy life without him.

bo
booble
1y

He cheated on you, he beat you, he cheated on you, how much you've suffered!!!! Are you sure you want to get back at him? Would it make you feel better? Wouldn't it be better to never talk to this man again? He's a cheater, what if he hurts you again? Or he'll cheat again and you'll believe it and the whole horror will start all over again.... Just forget him

langos
1y

Hello! I think you should be glad that such a deceiver has left you. And not to punish him, not to take the sin on his soul, but to thank fate so that he does not return.

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I confront my husband with his and he actually blames me for pushing him into it and if I can't tolerate it I can walk and he won't be the first to have a broken marriage after two years. I was pained lost in the thought of how I pushed him into cheating, so I managed to calm everyone down so we can talk properly, where he admitted that yes he is cheating and he isn't the first and won't be the last person to do so.

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Ofcus that wasn't okay with me but I love My husband and I want to save My marriage so what can I do. I accepted

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I tried to explain to him that all I ask for is at least 30min of his time outside his mobile phone with us. Instead of always being body present but absent minded.

But no matter how I say he sees it as my lack of trust for him, that I feel he is chatting with that woman.


I can't also call him while he is not at home, he shout at me that I am disturbing him and I am calling him because I don't trust him thinking he is with another woman.


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