Post
Am
Amanda
1y ago

Conversion disorder (due to stress?)

Hello,

I’ve been lurking here for several weeks, reading other people’s stories. Normally I don’t post about my health online, and I haven’t noticed anyone with the same issues here. I’ve come across discussions about how the mental health issues manifested themselves as physical pain… My case is a bit different, but I suspect the mechanism is the same. I’m reading all I can find about Conversion disorders, so perhaps someone here can give me some tips on where to look further.

I found myself in the hospital two years ago, shortly after a series of unlucky events (severe pneumonia, big issues at my workplace, and the funeral of my father shortly after). I experienced a sudden paralysis in my legs. To tell the truth, it scared the wits out of me. I thought I’d be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life… I also had tremors in my hands, and my state generally signaled I was having some sort of seizure. I spent 8 days in the hospital, muliple tests and IVs. The doctors didn’t know what the matter was, I suspect their main aim was to bring me back to life and send me home. My state improved over the week. I was prescribed a pile of drugs and they let me go. My symptoms were milder (I was told I'd be able to function, which greatly helped with my overwhelming panic), but I needed the support of my husband to take the taxi and, well, to live.

It took till late autumn to feel somewhat normal again. My legs got much better, but at times they betray me. It's terrifying, especially when I'm trying to do simple things like walk to the kitchen or go up the stairs. I've had to rely on my family a lot more to help me get around, mostly because I fear it will happen again unexpectedly. The tremors in my hands are almost invisible to the outside eye now, though I can still feel them at times. It's like they have a mind of their own. It may make the task of writing or even holding a cup of tea feel like a challenge.

I've had to cut back on work because I just can't keep up with the demands of my job anymore. It's frustrating because I used to be so independent, and now I feel like I'm constantly relying on others for help. I’ve been visiting the doctors (I’ve had three different ones over the last year) every two weeks, then every month. Now I do it randomly whenever my symptoms seem to worsen. I’m still not healed. It was the third doctor who insisted I should start therapy, and he made the final diagnosis: conversion disorder. I suppose it’s very rare, if it took them so long to diagnose me? I’ve been reading about it and I’ve come across many similar stories, though I got the impression that it mostly happens after some serious trauma and is considered “the illness of the veterans”.

I haven’t yet started therapy. I know I should do it to help me cope with all of this, but it's hard to take that first step. For now, I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and am seeking for more information. I’ve read that CBT was not helpful for some people, even though it’s recommended by professionals. I’ve also read about hypnosis as one potential line of treatment, it’s considered untraditional medicine? Has anyone else dealt with a similar diagnosis or symptoms on a daily basis? I need to better understand what I'm up against here.

Specialist answer
Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

We all react to stressful situations in different way. When we are frightened we may feel our heart racing, sweaty. When we are sad we sometimes cry. So every emotion we feel can sometimes cause a physical reaction. Siezure can happen when a person dissociates herself from such feelings because it is difficult to cope with. This emotional reaction because of series of event in your life can cause physical effect. it is an unconscious reaction.


Now i would only say for each person a particular treatment could work and for few it would not. so when you say CBT its highly recommended because it will help you to look at how you think, how your thoughts affect you physically and emotionally. it will help you in changing the way you think about things, situations, about people around you. This will help you looking at the current situation more positively and cope with stressful events like you thinking in the mind it will happen unexpectedly. Your therapist would be the right person to decide this. Remember if one treatment doesn't work then there are other set of treatments like bio-feedback or hypnotherapy which can be effective but you need to have patience and trust in it. It is good to research and know about the therapy but instead of googling meet a therapist and ask in details about what therapy she would start with. Knowing in details will give you also a confidence to deal with the fear.

Your therapist would also teach you various mindfulness and relaxation exercises.


Practise stress relieving techniques like think about a activity which you enjoy the most and do it like gardening or cooking or art anything which makes you happy or just yoga or meditation.

sa
saint777
1y

I think many people experience some forms of somatization due to stress, especially prolonged stress...your symptoms sound really extreme though. I occasionally have chest pains caused by stress. It took my doctor a while to understand my condition too. I think it’s hard for doctors to put a finger on it when it’s not organic. They were not trained to deal with these things. So I think your doctor is right that you need therapy.

I’m glad your condition has somewhat improved. If it’s worth something, try to focus on the small victories every day. It's easy to get bogged down by negative thoughts about what’s wrong with you… but a positive mindset can go a long way in helping you navigate tough times. Hope you’ll get well soon!

so
somebody
1y

Isn’t conversion disorder now called functional neurological disorder?

Sh
ShanChun1964
1y

CBT was not helpful for me either. I almost lost hope in therapy due to it. I have a “rare condition” too, when my therapist suggested my pains in the low back and joints were of a psychological nature, I could not believe her, even though I trust her in all other matters. The one thing that helped me was a modified form of EMDR. I also think that such conditions as ours require the treatment of the underlying symptoms as well (like anxiety, depression). Stress may be the trigger, but the underlying things are much more insidious...

Am
Amanda
1y
Author

@saint777 Thank you, I’m trying not to focus on anything at all.. I find that when my mind is calm, my symptoms lessen, on some days they’re almost non-existent. But then they come back. So I try not to think too much, especially about how things used to be before this happened to me.

Am
Amanda
1y
Author

@somebody Sorry, I don’t know. I’ve only read about my diagnosis but now I’ve googled functional neurological disorder, and it seems to be another disorder that’s psychological in nature. I’m not very educated in this, I’ve only begun gathering information.

Am
Amanda
1y
Author

@ShanChun1964 Thanks for your comment. I can relate to your feelings of distrust, I felt the same way for almost a year! When my doctor first suggested that I should go to a psychiatrist and start therapy, I only thought he wanted to get rid of me. I was absolutely sure my symptoms were entirely physical, and so they must be treated with non-psychiatric medication. To me his words sounded more like I was not actually ill, I only felt that I was. It’s both frightening and amazing what our brains can do to our bodies. I’m beginning to accept it only now, after dozens of stories from other people.

so
somebody
1y

@Amanda No matter, I was only meaning to say that hypnosis may be ineffective against functional neurological disorder (and thus, I suppose, for conversion disorder). You’d better explore intense relaxation therapy. I also recommend you to read the books From Paralysis to Fatigue by Edward Shorter, and All in Your Head by Suzanne Sullivan. Both will give you more insights into psychosomatic illnesses.

Am
Amanda
1y
Author

@somebody Very helpful, thank you very much! 🙏 I’ll order both books tomorrow evening when my husband is back home.

SO
SOguilty
1y

If you go to a neurologist, I’m pretty sure their recommendation will be to try non-invasive brain stimulation methods (like TMS or ECT). I’ve heard much positive feedback about both, especially TMS. It’s been used to treat depression and various somatic conditions, including fibromyalgia.

Am
Amanda
1y
Author

@SOguilty I’ve already read about TMS, it sounds very experimental to me. I’m a coward when it comes to “new methods”, that’s why I need to read about them in detail before making any decisions. I think I’ll try to find a therapist who specializes in stress-related disorders (if they even exist?). I’m a bit tired of taking antianxiety medications, and I’d really like to finally try something else, perhaps EMDR, as someone suggested in the comments.

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