Can someone just tell me if I’m overreacting???

I’ve been married to my husband for a year. We’ve known each other for about three years. He has this female friend, I’ll call her Mary, whom he has known since his teens. They’ve spent a lot of time smoking weed and making music together; he calls her “his bro” and likes to go to concerts with her and her brother (who was also part of their former teen band). When we started dating, I knew of their friendship because we met through her brother. She looked like a tomboy when she was younger, I’ve seen lots of her photos. But she has changed since then, she’s a woman now, and she’s single most of the time (she had some partners, but nothing lasted for too long, unfortunately).

At first, I tried to be patient about it. After all, I have friends too, and I can’t expect my husband to spend time only with me. But my patience grew thinner as time went on. They have this bond that seems unbreakable. I swear, my intuition tells me Mary has feelings for my husband. The way she acts around him is just not right. She's always touching his arm, leaning in too close when they talk, laughing a little too much at his jokes. And don't even get me started on the way she dresses when they go to concerts together. It's like she's trying to show off for him, to get his attention in a way that makes me sick to my stomach. My husband also hangs out with her family quite a bit, so much so that I’m beginning to think they want their daughter to be with him too (or maybe they hoped so in the past??) Anyway, I did not grow up with them to see their dynamics, but I find Mary’s behavior inappropriate. For example, last weekend we were at an after-party drinking beer and having fun with a couple of my friends, and Mary turned out to be there too. She said “hi” to me and then practically jumped into my husband’s arms, as if they hadn't seen each other for years… which made my friends raise their eyebrows, and when Mary proceeded to drag him to the dance floor exclaiming it was THEIR favorite song, one of my friends came up to me and asked what was going on. She later came up to me and asked multiple times if I was ok with it. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of my friends, so I shrugged it off, but I talked about it with my husband when we were back home. And he acted as if I were a jealous wife, petted me on the back, and such… said I was unreasonable and that if not for Mary’s brother we wouldn’t have met, so I was definitely imagining Mary’s love for him… he was a bit drunk, still I felt very stupid. So the next time she came to our house to chill with us, I took her aside and politely told her that though she was my husband’s friend, she was not his best friend, because I was his wife and his best friend now, that he chose to share his life with me. She said nothing and acted very coldly all that evening, ignoring me etc, but she told my husband about our small girl talk, probably exaggerated things a lot, and my husband now says I overreacted and that I’m complicating things…

Please, someone, anyone, tell me what I should do?? Am I just being paranoid and insecure? Should I believe that Mary’s feelings for my husband are purely platonic? Or should I confront him about my concerns and risk causing a rift in our marriage?

It’s my wife's colleague Conrad, newly arrived from Australia... It seemed innocent enough. She would mention him in passing, talk about projects they were working on together, comment about his wife. But as time went on, details started popping up that made me nervous. The first red flag was how often she talked about him. His name was always on the tip of her tongue. She would tell me about how funny he was, and how well they worked together. Then there are the emails. I know I shouldn't have done it but I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. I read her conversations with Conrad, and what I saw made my heart sink. They were discussing work-related stuff, but it was filled with inside jokes and a level of familiarity that made me uncomfortable. As if they had developed a close emotional relationship. In one email my wife says she’s “confused” about her feelings. It’s not the exact quote, but they were talking about feelings… I tried to rationalize it, telling myself that maybe I was overreacting. But the more I think about it, the more the pieces seem to fit together. The late nights at the office, the constant talk of Conrad, and now these intimate emails.

I confronted her about it, but she brushed it off. She assured me that they were just friends and that I have nothing to worry about. I did not tell her I’ve read her emails because I know she extremely values her privacy. The thought of her developing feelings for someone else, especially a married man, fills me with a mix of anger and sadness. I never thought our marriage would be tested like this, and now I'm left wondering if she’s abusing my trust and whether f I should forgive her.

Thanks for taking the time to read

TL;DR a close friend borrowed money from me and won’t give it back. I asked him to return it, and now I’m the bad guy.

Hey all,

A friend of mine asked me for a large sum of money ($3,000) in 2020. I’ve known him for all my life, our fathers went to college together. He is literally a friend of my family. Back then he was in a tight spot; he’d lost a job and couldn’t find a new one, was two months overdue with his rent, and his girlfriend was pregnant. To tell the truth, I was reluctant to loan him the money, it’s like I felt something like this was going to happen. Eventually, I consulted my wife, and we decided we could afford it. She was on maternity leave taking care of our newborn, but my career had taken off and I did have that extra money in my bank. I told my friend to get his things in order and pay me back when he could. Fast-forward three years, and my friend has paid me back only $500. Meanwhile, he has found a new, well-paid job (we both work in financial services) and bought a small house. Ironically, he’d split up with his girlfriend. She was one of the reasons why my wife was so positive about landing him our money… We kept communicating over these years, and last year I finally asked him about the borrowed money. It was during a family party, perhaps not the right time I agree. Anyway, he just ignored me. A few weeks later I decided it was the right time to remind him, and I emailed him. No answer. Finally, I grew weary of this whole situation and confronted him at another family party a fortnight ago. It didn’t end well. My friend, who mind you was absolutely sober at the moment, said right to my face that I was an a**hole and that it was an insignificant sum of money, so why did I keep going about it. The thing is he’d promised to pay me back, and I reminded him about it. He left our house minutes later without saying goodbye. And I was so pissed I told my dad. I presume he told my friend’s father afterwards. Long story short, my friend phoned me and called me names for telling our family members, said he’d pay me back later, that he owned much larger sums of money to other people because of his property purchase, and that I showed my true colors, etc. I know that it’s true he owns a lot of money, my father told me. Perhaps if I’d known it, I wouldn’t have confronted him. We’re doing fine financially and I don’t need this money right away. However, I’m still angry he feels okay to back out of a promise like that and make me a bad person, when it was I who had helped him when he had nothing. Am I wrong? I mean, it’s been almost four years. What are the chances of him giving the money back to me? My father told me to cut him some slack. I’m afraid he’ll settle it between himself and my friend’s father in the end. If this happens, I know my friend will never talk to me again. It’s the first time something like this has happened to me…

My partner’s family has NEVER been friendly towards me, nor did I expect them to be. We’ve been dating for three years. Initially, we didn’t live together, I visited only during the weekends and didn’t have to be around his family too often. Then my partner rented an apartment, and we had more private space, but his apartment is 15 minutes away from his family’s house. And now I see them much more often than I’d like to. His mother is an insufferable whiny, and his father is an abusive alcoholic with no respect for any woman, including his wife. I’m on good terms with my partner’s younger sister, she’s still in college, and she’s not the real problem. His family is dysfunctional, their dynamics are just sick, and I’m grateful that despite it all my partner grew up a good and loving person. His father is always passive aggressive, and he’s taken to barging in without any warning every second evening. I began to feel uncomfortable living at my partner’s place, always waiting for his family to show up. We’ve talked about it many times, and my partner agrees his family is not an example of a healthy family. He acknowledged my feelings towards them, but they are his parents nonetheless, and he’ll never cut ties with them. I don’t want to ask him to choose between me and them. Yet, on the other hand, I have no respect for any of his parents, and I can’t wear a fake smile for the rest of my life. I mean, they didn’t even remember my name at first! And they showed total indifference when my parents invited them to dinner and never showed up or even excused their absence. I feel like they have never tried to get to know me, and at this point I don’t want any of it... All this makes me feel my wonderful relationship is doomed.