I don't know what's going on. Hi everyone, I'm 18 and I'm a lesbian. When I was a kid I liked guys, but then around 13-14 when I found out that you can like girls, I felt like I liked them more...? (so I think I might have daddy issues or something like that, so. I used to kind of like guys, but I really like their attention to this day. Like, "I'm in a relationship with a girl, but if this guy gives me attention that would be cool! I like to be the center of attention!" I don't think I'm bi because I can't imagine having sex with a guy or being in a relationship. I feel comfortable to be with a girl and I would like to live my life with her, I like to get attention from a girl, kisses, etc... now let's get to the problem. when I realized that I am not hetero, in my country everything was more or less fine with same-sex relationships...how? nobody cared about it. I was in a long distance relationship with a girl for 2 years and I loved her and she kind of loved me too. as I realized after the breakup, our relationship was not healthy at all. She lied to me, she ignored me a lot, she seemed to love me but sometimes she could just get offended. she lied about everything, about being raped by a guy, about the people she was dating, she said her parents beat her up, etc. I was a fool and really believed it all (although I had my doubts and they were justified). eventually she started to ignore me a lot saying "that's it, we're breaking up". one time we had a political fight and she wanted to break up with me, but she kind of gave me a second chance. I didn't know she was seeing someone else at the time...as time went on, I experienced the same insults from her friends. And when I said, "Don't hang out with that person, they talk shit about me, I don't like it, but it's your choice. I didn't push too hard but it was in this context approximately (before that she insisted that I stop communicating with my friend or she would leave me, I had to do it) another situation happened: she had a friend who lived next door to her and they didn't communicate live but often texted each other. My ex liked to make herself cool and pretend that she was experienced in sex. At the time I was a virgin and did not really talk about sex with her, I was not really comfortable, but something I trusted her. and once my account in the app was blocked and I asked her for a while, she said "no problem" and in the dialog with this guy I accidentally saw "My girlfriend is such a slut, she does fisting". I was shocked. I had never done that in my life...I cried for a long time after that, because I felt uncomfortable and like I was humiliated. Also there was something like "my girlfriend has big tits, like two planets" this was also unpleasant for me, especially the fact that she tells this to a guy I don't even know. after a few months she started to ignore me hard, just write rarely, I could write to her she sits online, but does not answer, just reads. it drove me to tears and hysterics..I thought that everything will be fine, but I thought that everything will be fine. but when we were on the call and I was discussing our future like "oh, it would be cool if we got a kitten" it was at this point that she said "I want to break up with you" (I think it's very nasty of her to do that at this point) I started crying, begging her, etc...but she just told me to fuck off and disconnected. Then I texted her "can we be friends?" she said no and I accepted it...But the most disgusting thing was that when I was crying and suffering she just texted me "I'll think about it till morning and tell you my decision" I was broken and cried all night, hoping that in the morning she would say it's ok etc...She woke up and texted me "I'm blocking you, bye! "After a few days I found out that she had cheated on me. she immediately started dating a girl the day we were separated. and that girl turned out to be a friend who humiliated and insulted me..hmmm so there you go! now I have a new girlfriend who loves me to bits and treats me well and with respect.
But the problem is that after our breakup my country passed a law banning "LGBT" now if you are gay or lesbian you can go to jail...for 12 years. I'm really scared to write this now a little bit...in case they find out. but now I want to go to the main problem.(I'm very anxious, I suffer from overthinking and bad thoughts) At some point after the ban and distance with the girl, I started to feel like I'm attracted to guys...(I never dated a guy and all my 3 ex were girls)it's like my body makes me love them. I'm just looking at an almost at every guy and get a very weird feeling in my belly..I thought, "Okay, if you're bi, it's okay, don't worry about it," but it got worse at some point, like I started reacting to any guy, or to their voice like it was supposed to make me I don't know into him. I pushed those thoughts away. I also want to add that my mother doesn't know about my orientation and I often hear "such a nice guy,tall,handsome,cute,sucker" and it makes me feel even worse>_< I realize that if I react to all guys this way it could be anxiety and fear of falling in love with a guy. Help me please. What could it be? How to treat it? i really need your opinion, maybe someone has faced this before!
Hello!
My sympathy for your loss. We very often become attached to our pets and endow them with human qualities. They often become members of our family, and we experience this loss in the same way as the loss of a loved one. Certainly, you need time to get over this pain. Remember the main thing - you have the right to experience all the emotions connected with this event, including anger and sadness.
Sometimes the loss of pets is more difficult to put up with, as they are completely under our control. We are confident that not only their comfort and well-being, but also their life and health depend on us. After all, we are responsible for them. But we forget that unfortunately the matters of life and death are not in our power.
Why can’t we accept the death of a loved pet? It seems to us that we could do something about it, somehow influence it or even foresee it. We cling to this opportunity, which, by and large, we don’t have and didn’t have then, and we feel guilty that we didn’t have time, couldn’t, didn’t foresee… This feeling of guilt can only destroy you, but it won’t help correct the situation.
The only thing you can do about it is accept the fact that your pet is no longer around. It is also important to thank your dog for being with you for 2 years, for giving you so much love and warmth over the years.
Fix its image in your mind: lively, active, joyful, loving. These memories should warm you in difficult times, give you a reason to smile once again and be glad that you had such pleasant moments.
Here are a few more tips to help you get over the loss.
1. Don’t let anyone tell you how much to grieve and how much time to spend on it. This is your grief, your pet, and you have the right to mourn it as much as you need. Longing can come in waves, increasing at certain moments. The pet’s birthday, a similar dog accidentally seen on the street or watching a sad movie.
2. No need to be ashamed of your grief. There is nothing wrong with your attachment to the pet. By pushing and hiding your emotions, you only delay the process of acceptance.
3. Get a special book and dedicate it to your departed friend. Paste his photographs, collages, paw prints. Accompany the photo with captions describing the circumstances under which this photo was taken or words of gratitude to your pet.
4. Make your friend’s day of remembrance. Choose his birthday or day of death, and perform peculiar ceremonies on these days. Visiting the pet’s grave or going to a shelter to help abandoned animals. These ceremonies will help transform grief into a feeling of tenderness and gratitude to your pet.
5. Move forward. When you stop mourning your dog, you don’t cheat on him or betray him. The memory of him will forever remain in your heart, but life goes on. Your friend didn’t like that you were so sad. Remember how he comforted you during the difficult periods of your life. Surely he would like you to be comforted as soon as possible.