It's been about month now since I almost died. I tried to kill myself, I overdosed on my antidepressants medication. I don't really know what happened that day. The day was just like any other ordinary days I woke and went to school then I started feeling the darkness a cloud of anxiety, nervousness, negative thoughts , overwhelming sadness and loneliness. I Tried to put on a smile around my friends but I could feel that I was losing it. The whole day and even on my way home but I could feel the cracks showing and my intrusive thoughts were just screaming at me . When I reached home I just wanted it to just stop, I was really exhausted and I just wanted a breather so I took my medication. I usually take one at night before I sleep. But I could take it any more I was tired I thought that the medice would make me feel better ,so I took one then 2 then 3 but didn't work so I kept adding one more , more and more but nothing changed , until I finished a whole months supply. After a few minutes that's when it hit me , I felt my body suddenly became so heavy I was lying on the floor of my bedroom floor. I struggled to get my self onto my bed . I struggled to keep my eyes open, I struggled to hold on as much as I can. I remember how scared I felt at that moment scared of closing my eyes. I don't when I let go ,one moment am thinking and the next nothingness no dream no thoughts, absolutely nothingness . I don't know how long I was out but when I come too the next day my parents were sitting next to me calling my name. Apparently they tried calling me multiple times a few hours later I didn't pick up they tried to wake me up but I was unresponsive they rushed me the ER . They say I was lucky but the truth is I don't feel lucky. Everseens I can't seem to get my self to fall asleep I am afraid of closing my eyes I can't sleep I have gone days without sleep and everytime I manage to sleep the nightmares come It's am dying over and over again and I can't help think that I should have died that day. I never told my friends anything. I went to school a day after that I put on me smile atleast I tried to and went on with my day . I would like to say that this was my first suicidal attempt but just one of many am covered with scars I hide I study medicine so I have gotten good at treating my wonds I inflected on my self barely leaving any visible scars a hell of my own design,, Huh! Poetic isn't it? I have been trying to not fight this battle and not give up today is day 30 so yeeeeea🎉🎉👏🎂 .I guess.............am getting really exhausted am tired I don't want to do this anymore the darkness is getting harder to see through I can feel myself slipping.