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cm
cmorar421
260d ago

I am really sad and angry all the time

All my life people used me. I have to act nice, polite, sincere and serving even if bothers me or hurt me but the moment I express myself or show any emotion reflecting it suddenly I am awful, impolite, mean, a person who is never happy in others happiness. If those person are any stranger or someone with not much importance in life it may have not hurt me but even my family is one of those All my life people used me. I have to act nice, polite, sincere and serving even if bothers me or hurt me but the moment I express myself or show any emotion reflecting it suddenly I am awful, impolite, mean, a person who is never happy in others happiness. If those person are any stranger or someone with not much importance in life it may have not hurt me but even my family is one of those. I really try hard to make me happy but sometimes I just couldn't. I couldn't talk to anybody not even with my mother because whenever I tell her about anything that bothers me she made me target of her anger, taunting, beratement for hours or even days. After that she will tell me to stop feeling my emotions at all and act anything is wrong or discomforting all the time. I had keep all my emotions hidden inside. This makes me sad and anxious. I get angry every easily specially with my mother. These tied up emotions are hard to handle. I cry all day and night even when problem is small but it just hit me hard and all my problem start to encircle me. I am not able to sleep all night. Please help me I don't know what to do

Specialist answer
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Veena Choudhary
254d
Specialist

You havre experienced immense pain and struggle because of your relationship with your mum. The pressure to be perfect, to be kind, to be polite, to be always good is difficult and realisation that doing so is an incredible deep sacrifice and leading to personal suffering. These experiences have left you emotionally scarred as you are not able to express what you truly intent to. Your mum clearly doesnt know how to provide the emotional support you need. It could be because of her own childhood baggage she must be caring.


Writing down your feelings will help you in great deal to release the pent up emotions, emotions which you wanted to express but were stopped form doing it. writing down the situation in depth will help you organise your thoughts. You would also realise you don't need your mom to validate your emotions. You would find peace by putting words in the page and discovering various ways of next time approaching Everyday write down the situation where you felt like that and see how well you can express your emotion in different ways to that person. Like constructively sharing something to the other person that you felt hurt or bad about his action. see you truly don't want to replicate your mom's behaviour of being rude (like she is with you).


Your feelings, emotions matter. so see if she is in a good mood she would listen to you or take her to a place she loves and try explaining.. but if she doesnt understand then it is important you set a boundary and limit your interaction for your well beinG.

js
jschuppe1
260d

It sounds like you have a lot of built-up emotions that are coming to the surface and causing you distress. It's essential to remember that it's natural for us to feel emotions, and it's important to find ways to express and process those emotions in a healthy way. It's beneficial to identify the people in your life who can provide you with emotional support. If family members are not a source of support for you, it's essential to find a supportive friend or a friend group that'll support you

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lenorearmstrong716
260d

@jschuppe1 yeah u're right. it’s because you’ve been bottling up your emotions for too long. you need to find a healthy outlet. my friend used to be the same way, always hiding her feelings until she exploded. i don’t know exactly what she did but one day she was just like a brand new person. if you want, i could ask her and let you know. you can’t keep going on like this. it’s not healthy, and it’s not fair to you or the people around you.

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ofeliA
260d

I can relate to what you're going through. Lately, I've been struggling with aggression as well, but I can't really pinpoint why. It's tough because understanding the root cause can make it easier to cope and it seems like you have a better grasp on why you're feeling this way. That must be at least a little bit helpful, even if it's still really hard. For me, it's confusing and frustrating not knowing where these feelings come from. I feel like I should be able to control it, but I just can't. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and it's understandable that you're feeling the way you do. It's so important to be able to express your emotions, and it must be incredibly difficult to feel like you can't do that without facing criticism. If you ever want to talk, I'm here to listen. Sometimes just having someone to share with can make a big difference.

sc
schillerzander204
260d

I can hear how much pain and frustration you’re feeling, and it sounds like you’ve been carrying it for a long time. It’s really tough when the people who are supposed to support us end up making us feel worse.. It might help to try and find small ways to take care of yourself each day. This could be anything from taking a few minutes to breathe deeply, going for a walk, or doing something that you enjoy. It’s also okay to set boundaries with people who make you feel bad, even if they’re family. You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

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˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
260d

Seeking validation from others is something many of us do, but it can become unhealthy when we rely solely on external approval to feel good about ourselves. You don't have to be nice to everyone. Let people dislike you. It's the most freeing thing in the world. It's important to be true to yourself and not feel pressured to please everyone. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your own happiness in order to be nice to others. It's okay for people to not like you

Ju
Judy R.
260d

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's hard when you feel like you have to hide your emotions. It's tough when even family members don't understand. I have a son and I would never want him to feel like he wasn't understood or accepted by his family. It's horrible. Your feelings are important and very real. Don’t try to hide them of be ashamed of them. It's okay to be sad and angry. It's hard to keep everything inside. You are strong for facing each day with these feelings.

wa
wanda47155
260d

I can relate to how you feel. It’s so hard when you feel like you have to be nice and polite all the time, even when it hurts you. And when you finally express yourself, people make you feel like you’re the bad guy. It’s even worse when it’s your own family. I’ve been there too, feeling like I can’t talk to anyone about how I really feel. My dad reacts the same way as your mom, turning his anger on me when I try to open up. It’s like you’re being punished for having emotions. Keeping everything inside sucks. It makes me sad and anxious.

Or
Orlando
260d

Dear friend, thank you for sharing your feelings. In Buddhism, I learned that emotions are a natural part of life, but we also learn ways to cope with them and eventually find peace. One of the core teachings of Buddhism is mindfulness. By being fully present in the moment, you can begin to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can help you understand your emotions and how they affect your life.

Loving-kindness meditation is another powerful tool. This involves sending positive thoughts and feelings to yourself and others. Start by focusing on yourself and repeating phrases like, "May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I live with ease." Gradually extend these wishes to your family and others who may have caused you pain. The Buddhist practice of letting go can also be helpful. This doesn't mean ignoring or suppressing your emotions, but rather learning to release the attachment to the pain they cause. This can be a gradual process, but with time and practice, you can begin to find relief.

no
not today
260d

I relate to feeling used and misunderstood. I think too much about how to make everyone happy and it leaves me drained. I wanna seem nice but deep down I wish they would be as nice to me in return. But when I ask for help, no one is here and I’m wondering if I should keep playing that nice role that I am so used to. I’m such an anxious person that I am ashamed of it. I can’t help but feel drained after any interaction with another human being. I feel trapped and like there’s no way out of it sometimes.

PL
PLAYER1
260d

@not today It sounds like you're finding it challenging to maintain a persona of being constantly nice and happy, especially when you're not feeling supported or understood by others. It's understandable that feeling drained and anxious after social interactions can make you question whether or not you should continue in that role. It's important to recognize that it's possible to be kind and empathetic to others while still prioritizing your own wellbeing and setting boundaries.

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