I’m in such a weird situation! Seven weeks ago, I gave birth to my firstborn. It’s a long-awaited baby, I’ve been trying to get pregnant for five years and was in the final stages of preparing for IFV, when I met this young man and fell in love for a short while. I knew he was not ready for a family from day one when we were playing board games and the only association he had with “nuptials” was “trap”. But he seemed such an asset, 25 y.o., handsome and healthy. I fell for his genes more than for his character. His mother is a superb woman, and she likes me despite the fact that I’m 8 years older than her son. We can come visit her, and I’ll spend more time talking to her than my partner. When I found out I was pregnant, I told my partner, and then I texted my mother and his mother. Their reaction was overwhelmingly positive, and that somewhat brightened up my partner’s reaction, who simply said, “What? It can’t be”, then looked at my test and went out to the supermarket. I wasn’t waiting for flowers and a cake, of course, but it was dispiriting to see that he was shaken and… afraid? Perhaps I should feel guilty that I used him for my own purpose. Then again, I assured him I wouldn’t need his financial support if he didn’t want to get involved. His mother was very enthusiastic, she patronized me throughout my pregnancy like no one else. I think she even beat my doctor! Honestly, it was nice, and I appreciate it!
I’ll try to keep this short. We stayed together during all my pregnancy. Only I was ecstatic about it, while my partner was just there, perhaps thanks to his mother. My daughter was born a healthy girl, with curly blond hair and gray eyes, while both me and my partner have dark hair and dark eyes. The first thing my partner said when he saw her was she wasn’t his. I was shocked to the point where I couldn’t even argue. I stood there next to his mother and my dad and could cry for the hopelessness of it all. The doctor explained to us that sometimes babies are born with lighter hair, which will change later in life. Even the colour of their eyes may turn from gray to hazel. Thanks God my partner’s mother has grey eyes, so he didn’t focus too much on that at least. He insisted on a paternity test and moved out to live with his mother until we got the results. I suppose the only thing I felt back then was emptiness. It wasn’t even disappointment, I was past that stage during my pregnancy. Anyway, the test showed he was the father (obviously!). His mother, who had been very neutral during all those nervous days, changed her tone and was nice and caring again. She came to help me with the newborn, and two weeks later my partner said he was ready to move in again. We live under one roof again, and we live like neighbors. I don’t know why he’s even doing it. He wasn’t excited about becoming a father in the first place. I was ready to bear this alone, and I still am, but I value all the attention my partner’s mother has shown to me and my daughter. Is it selfish that I don’t want to lose it? I don’t know whether I want to keep living together with her son, there’s nothing between us. I need a grandmother for my daughter more than a father, it’s so ridiculous.
I really believe in negative energy and all you know, and I feel you are surrounded by a lot of negative energy, the people who are not wishing good on you, you should stay away from such friend circles, to be very honest sometimes it's better to stay alone and at peace instead of having negativity around you which is not letting things happen for you
Lethargy is a vicious circle, and to elope that you need to have strong mindset and determined will, try joining some physical activities which make you energetic and helps you improve your mood and shed off all the negativity around you, also inculcate praying, meditation and journaling in your daily. All these will help you rejuvenate your energy and repel negativity
I sense you are effected by a lot of negative people around you, since you said you already have less friends I feel even they're are not good enough and you're just settling for any friend available instead of looking for quality friends, do not do that, you never know how somebody around you is bothering your energy and your success, make sure to have the best people in your close circle, no matter even if it takes long to find them, be patient work on yourself, embrace your solitude and when the right friends come, don't let them go
About relatives I'll suggest you to be very straight with them and tell them if some words or actions are bothering you, because this is no less than bullying
maybe join gym or some outdoor activity to keep yourself fresh and away from negativity