I am 30 year old, female gynaecologist from India having very frequent thoughts of my entire life being a waste with no hope of improvement in future
I feel like I forgot to take some train and now I am just stuck on this nowhere land
I am single, with literally no friends to talk to, I stay with my parents but I dont wish to speak to them either, mostly wasting my time on phone just killing time because I have nothing else to do and I feel pathetic about it
I have been a brilliant student having finished my obgyn residency by age of 27 post which I have been working but never felt that I am doing so at my full potential
Both personally and professionally I feel I am just a failure , I hate the fact that I am not able to love myself, I may not be a problem but why do I feel that while world even my parents think that I am not good enough to get married just because I am short heighted,, dark skinned and now getting old too.
All my life I feel I have in a way tried to compensate over these things by my academic performance even which seems to have been not good enough now
I don't know how to start appreciating and loving myself again
How to make things happen both personally and professionally instead of just sitting and waiting for smthing good to happen and for someone to come and save this damsel in distress .
If you have read this, I don't know if I am making any sense but I know I am not alone out there feeling like this but I very well know this is not a good feeling and I don't want to go through it , I don't want to blame my circumstances, my family and for that matter even God for my current position
