I want to work normally.

Saw that there is help on the platform. I want to share and ask for advice. I'm young, I work remotely, in programming. I develop in quite complex projects, and I like it. Previously, I have only once worked for hire and I was left with the most unpleasant feelings. My boss always yelled at me regardless of whether I was doing a good job or not. We have an order, he yells "hurry up," "redo it." Even when our foreign partners were happy with me, my boss would yell "they praise me out of politeness...you're a lowlife who can't do anything". I was shaking at home every day and at some point I told myself "enough is enough". I quit that company. By the way, it didn't retain any employees and I don't even know who the boss worked with now. When I was leaving, the boss shouted at me, "You're nothing! Go! Who needs you! You're not capable of anything!". I started working for myself. I had a problem from my old job: as soon as I get an order, I start to shake internally. I'm afraid of failing, but I know exactly how to do the job. I endlessly improve the project, and the thought that I won't meet the deadline gives me the shakes. The anxiety is so intense that I can't work and of course deadlines pass. I start working night and day to make it. Finally exhausted, I finally hand over the work to the customer. The customer is satisfied. And I am exhausted, and I get away from the order for a week, I can not work. I want to work normally.