Post
ma
madyson
1y ago

I want to work normally.

Saw that there is help on the platform. I want to share and ask for advice. I'm young, I work remotely, in programming. I develop in quite complex projects, and I like it. Previously, I have only once worked for hire and I was left with the most unpleasant feelings. My boss always yelled at me regardless of whether I was doing a good job or not. We have an order, he yells "hurry up," "redo it." Even when our foreign partners were happy with me, my boss would yell "they praise me out of politeness...you're a lowlife who can't do anything". I was shaking at home every day and at some point I told myself "enough is enough". I quit that company. By the way, it didn't retain any employees and I don't even know who the boss worked with now. When I was leaving, the boss shouted at me, "You're nothing! Go! Who needs you! You're not capable of anything!". I started working for myself. I had a problem from my old job: as soon as I get an order, I start to shake internally. I'm afraid of failing, but I know exactly how to do the job. I endlessly improve the project, and the thought that I won't meet the deadline gives me the shakes. The anxiety is so intense that I can't work and of course deadlines pass. I start working night and day to make it. Finally exhausted, I finally hand over the work to the customer. The customer is satisfied. And I am exhausted, and I get away from the order for a week, I can not work. I want to work normally. 

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Abuse and bullying
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Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

Hello,

I understand your feelings. Kudo's to you to being strong and deciding to do what you felt was best for you while working previously.

i can help you with the anxiety.

When anxiety rises in our bodies, the idea of calming down is difficult so try learning following techniques and strategies to help you ease down:


  • Prioritise your task:


>>> Whenever you get a Project, first chalk a plan. Strategise each task with an allocated time. Try doing a daily plan initially and see if you are able to stick to the daily deadline. This will help your anxiousness and when things are systematically planned and you will have clarity of how to go ahead. You will be able to meet deadlines if you work on everyday plan. This will keep you calm. Do keep buffer time so that you don't panic if you exceed time deadline once in a while.


  • Affirmations:

Look in the mirror everyday and tell to yourself "i am capable and i can do this". Repeat this everyday. Whenever you feel anxious also say it. This is a constant positive statement to set into your subconscious mind.


  • 5,4,3,2,1 Technique

This technique is visualisation technique. It helps in shifting your focus form the anxiety. It helps you to focus on the reality.

You need to sit at a place and observe objects around and do this ;

5 things you can see (at the place you are sitting)

4 things you can touch

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

Observe intricate details around you. Focus and challenge yourself for in depth viewing of things. This will help you in reducing the feeling of anxiety.


  • Meditate :

Breathe in from nose slowly and hold it for 5 seconds and then breathe out through your mouth slowly. Feel the breath entering your body through nose and spreading all across your body. You need to slowly do this for 10 min daily to feel calm. It will help your anxiety.


  • Burn off your anxiety:

When you are anxious and you are not able to do breathing technique then try these strategies which can burn off the extra adrenaline :

>>>> Chores that need lot of energy to finish

>>>> Exercise or dancing with loud music

>>>> Go outside or go to park and get some fresh air


  • Always ask questions:


Anxiety happen when our mind focuses on irrational beliefs. You need to learn this question technique to help you with the anxiety. When you have thought which gives you anxiety just pause and think about the following:

>>>How is this thought making me feel

>>> is it a fact or an opinion?

>>> is it a rational or irrational thought?

>>> Thinking about this thought would make situation better for me?

>>> How can i make things better for the project in hand?

It will be difficult to automatically do this technique first. Try maintaining a journal and write down whatever you feel in that.

ma
madyson
1y
Author

thank you very much!

el
eldamayer
1y

I realized you're shaking just thinking you can't do it. That's the idea your boss put in your head. I got that from reading your text. I, too, have had it drummed into me at work that I'm doing something wrong. I even believed it sometimes ). Try, as soon as there is anxiety from the thought "I can't cope" to say to yourself the thought "that was in the past, now I can cope...I am my own boss". 

sa
samir
1y

I also think you need to learn to calm down during the day when you are working. That's what I do. As soon as I get anxious, I play music, I meditate.

ja
jacob
1y

Hi! saw you were asking for help, thought I'd write to you. It's great that you left recruitment, it must have been bad for you. I'm sorry you had a boss like that. On the bright side though, with his help, you quickly found your way to working for yourself. I think that insulting your boss creates internal obstacles for you in your work. Try to do some autotraining, meditation, attunement to work. I manage my anxiety mentally - just keep it away. you can use breathing techniques. Realize that anxiety and your past are ruining your work now.

ro
rohanlou
1y

What kind of damage your boss has done to your psyche!!! His words are sitting in your head and causing you so much anxiety that you can't function properly. Send his words back to him, and tell yourself new words that you can do anything!!!!

li
lilliana
1y

Yeah, you had a boss! Not a nice man!!! now, after his attitude towards you, you can't work properly! I sympathize with you and I support you in trying to work on your own.

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