Having ADHD is so weird and agonizing!! I was diagnosed four weeks ago, and it validated most of my life’s failures. I can’t understand people, I hear them speak, but I can’t grasp complex information, at uni I have to make audio recordings of all lectures so that I can listen to them at home. I’m also really bad with numbers. I can’t do math in my head, and I could never keep up with my peers, who grasp it all so easily. It is called dyscalculia? Or something like that.. I don’t know how I finished school, it was a miracle.. I was the one with “learning issues” in sciences, thank heavens, my English and literature were above average. Even when I’m studying the subjects I like, I can’t focus for more than twenty minutes. It makes me fidgety and nervous, I feel unhealthy, as if my battery is always low. My memory sucks, and I’m not making much progress this year. No matter how much I try to study, I end up scrolling reels or playing games on the phone. I’m so privileged to be where I am, and yet doomed to be the one who fails. I’ll always be crawling to my goals like an inadequate dumbass...

Now that the final exams are looming, I’m so depressed I want just to drop out! I told my dad yesterday, and I thought he’d give me a slap. He’d probably do it if we were alone… My new doctor said we’d try the new type of medication aka stimulants. No idea what it is, I just pray they won’t screw up my brains even more. All the nootropics I’ve been prescribed at school were a total fiasco! I don’t mind taking meds, if they help me stop being a mess. Is it even possible to be an adult with an ADHD diagnosis? I want to study like everyone else, I need my degree. This is so unfair!

Please I need your opinion. Never thought I would find myself in this situation. It started with my obsessive-compulsive disorder, constant intrusive thoughts and the need for control and order. But right before the new year, after a regular night of smoking weed with some friends, everything spiraled out of hand. I had a psychotic break, and now I'm being told that I might be developing schizophrenia.

The diagnosis terrifies me. I've always been aware of my OCD, but the idea of losing touch with reality is a whole other level of fear. I don't trust this new diagnosis, but the thought of it lingers in the back of my mind. I was prescribed two antipsychotics, not taking them for now...

A short description of how it felt, because I still think this could be drug induced. During my psychotic break, I was trapped in an altered reality that I didn't even realize was happening. Was like living in a distorted dream, where nothing made sense and everything felt threatening. I remember feeling like the world was closing in on me, and I couldn't escape. I became convinced that people outside on the street were watching me, plotting against me and my friends. The walls seemed to whisper secrets, and I couldn't shake the feeling that going outside was a threat to my life. Time lost all meaning, and I felt like I was stuck in an endless loop of running from the people outside. The lines between where I were and where those people were sort of blurred together, leaving me disoriented. I later found myself on the street with my hand bleeding, I’d broken my friend’s window throwing an empty bottle right through it. I’m lucky that no passersby or cars were harmed at such a late hour… We have cameras everywhere, I’d be in trouble. The worst part was that I didn't even realize how far gone I was. In my altered reality, everything seemed perfectly logical and connected. It wasn't until I came back to myself that I realized how distorted my thoughts had been. Doesn’t the fact that I realized it afterwards and didn’t deny anything prove that my mind came back to normal?

All people smoking weed sometimes have these visions and hear voices, right? I got stoned many times before, and it was usually like some funny mental puzzle, but never so vivid and distorted.

Now, faced with the possibility of developing schizophrenia (which I still don’t want to believe!), I can't help but wonder if that altered reality is waiting for me again. The fear of losing myself to a world of delusions and hallucinations drives me nuts. I cling to the hope that it was just a one-time episode.

Fuck, I wish I could go back to the days when my biggest struggle was managing my OCD. Now, this schizo specter hangs over me, and it’s just too much!

Like a real diagnose I mean.

I had a mild social anxiety disorder, but I was not officially diagnosed with and obsessive-compulsive disorder for years, which lead to an age of doubts and suffering. When people think of OCD it’s usually about germs, control freaks, or worries about whether you’ve locked the door. But, as with many mental health problems, it’s just not that easy. It cost me months of anxiety, nights without sleep, problems at work and zero effect from medical treatment.

I was told to increase doses, that I had Borderline disorder, that maybe I was not yet realizing I was getting better. Only when my second therapist advised me to visit a psychiatrist and we began talking about depression and why exactly it all returned to fears that never proved right but still persisted and ruined my life… that’s when OCD came up. The thing is, it’s not about a particular set of fears or one particular obsession. It’s about the pattern that goes on and on, often in such ways that you don’t even see it. I’d become obsessed about my health and new moles, then switch to thinking about my dog’s health. Then for days I’d worry about my future, that I was secretly homosexual, that I had no mental problems at all but some disease… My brain would cling to each of these doubts and obsess about it. Then I’d come to the therapist and we would talk about manias... I began to question if he actually knew what was wrong with me, but not soon enough.

I’m super thankful that in the end, I was prescribed antidepressants, with a diagnosis somewhat better than the initial one. But how many people like me waste time and money being misdiagnosed?

Hello,

I’ve been lurking here for several weeks, reading other people’s stories. Normally I don’t post about my health online, and I haven’t noticed anyone with the same issues here. I’ve come across discussions about how the mental health issues manifested themselves as physical pain… My case is a bit different, but I suspect the mechanism is the same. I’m reading all I can find about Conversion disorders, so perhaps someone here can give me some tips on where to look further.

I found myself in the hospital two years ago, shortly after a series of unlucky events (severe pneumonia, big issues at my workplace, and the funeral of my father shortly after). I experienced a sudden paralysis in my legs. To tell the truth, it scared the wits out of me. I thought I’d be in a wheelchair for the rest of my life… I also had tremors in my hands, and my state generally signaled I was having some sort of seizure. I spent 8 days in the hospital, muliple tests and IVs. The doctors didn’t know what the matter was, I suspect their main aim was to bring me back to life and send me home. My state improved over the week. I was prescribed a pile of drugs and they let me go. My symptoms were milder (I was told I'd be able to function, which greatly helped with my overwhelming panic), but I needed the support of my husband to take the taxi and, well, to live.

It took till late autumn to feel somewhat normal again. My legs got much better, but at times they betray me. It's terrifying, especially when I'm trying to do simple things like walk to the kitchen or go up the stairs. I've had to rely on my family a lot more to help me get around, mostly because I fear it will happen again unexpectedly. The tremors in my hands are almost invisible to the outside eye now, though I can still feel them at times. It's like they have a mind of their own. It may make the task of writing or even holding a cup of tea feel like a challenge.

I've had to cut back on work because I just can't keep up with the demands of my job anymore. It's frustrating because I used to be so independent, and now I feel like I'm constantly relying on others for help. I’ve been visiting the doctors (I’ve had three different ones over the last year) every two weeks, then every month. Now I do it randomly whenever my symptoms seem to worsen. I’m still not healed. It was the third doctor who insisted I should start therapy, and he made the final diagnosis: conversion disorder. I suppose it’s very rare, if it took them so long to diagnose me? I’ve been reading about it and I’ve come across many similar stories, though I got the impression that it mostly happens after some serious trauma and is considered “the illness of the veterans”.

I haven’t yet started therapy. I know I should do it to help me cope with all of this, but it's hard to take that first step. For now, I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and am seeking for more information. I’ve read that CBT was not helpful for some people, even though it’s recommended by professionals. I’ve also read about hypnosis as one potential line of treatment, it’s considered untraditional medicine? Has anyone else dealt with a similar diagnosis or symptoms on a daily basis? I need to better understand what I'm up against here.