As I continue doing the work to ensure I’m the best version of myself for myself before anyone else, I’ve developed a profound appreciation for people who recognise early on they dislike me for whatever reason and stand on it, because I often extend more grace than I should and it puts me in situations that could’ve been avoided had I not given them the benefit of the doubt. I do my best to keep an open mind because assuming the worst of everyone fosters a negative mindset and is isolating, however I won’t let the negativity of others tear me down.
I’ve learned many lessons and navigated enough conflict throughout my life to know what lessons I’ve learned and don’t intend to repeat, applying those lessons to current and future situations to help navigate. While it’s easier said than done, I want to remain grounded in love and maintain my optimistic outlook. Learning to let go of trivial matters, not personalising mistreatment or internalising others’ projections has been one of many vital components in my recovery.
I don’t feel the need to argue or prove I’m “right” because it’s never that serious. I don’t look down on people for what they do or don’t have because their lives aren’t mine to live. Cultivating community, being kind to others and showing up for myself is all I truly care to do because at the end of the day, if I want to continue healing the world in small ways, it starts with the every day connections I have. One of the many lessons I’ve learned is that if I’m seeking positivity, I have to create it. Doesn’t have to be done in extravagant ways, but it through small acts. And since initiating my recovery, I do exactly that with the routine I’ve created and maintained over the past 2 almost 3 years.
My days start the night before, getting 8 hours of rest before waking up feeling refreshed. I take 15-20 minutes to clean my space, take a shower before breakfast, then spend the hour using education apps, doing something creative and hydrating. I’ll read on my way to the gym, get an hour workout in, and listen to a podcast on my way to therapy while solving mini crossword puzzles. Then I’ll return home to clean, cook dinner, light candles, meditate for a bit and rest after catching up on subscriptions.
These small acts of self care keeps me going and able to show up for others in a way that allows me to be kind, exercise patience, maintain an open heart, and interact in a collaborative effort in moments of conflict. To help yourself is to help others and that’s the most important lesson I’ve learned, and will continue to demonstrate.
