When you enter a spiritual program of recovery (ie sobriety, therapy, etc) it becomes increasingly easier to discern who hates themselves just by observing the way in which they interact with others, how they navigate conflict or how they speak. Recent statistics show that loneliness, depression and anxiety among the upcoming generation is at an all time and I can’t help but blame the unhealthy expectations society has surrounding relationships and what “self love” is.
Self love is more than physical acts of self care. Self love CAN be treating yourself to a pedicure, because it’s an act that feels good and is taking care of your body (in a way), but what about your mental and emotional health? Loving yourself entails so much more than spa days. It’s recognising your mental and emotional capacity to engage in certain things, it’s listening to your body and taking breaks when needed. It’s setting boundaries and asserting them if crossed. It’s giving yourself grace in moments you can’t remain grounded and understanding you’re a work in progress.
Social media has created the misconception that if you’re not spending stupendous amounts of money on physical acts of self care then it’s not self love, which is WRONG. Self love looks different for everyone but I know the general concept is to pour back into yourself.
For myself personally, self love is just that. Loving my mind, body, heart and soul. It’s keeping myself hydrated and getting 8hrs of rest every night. It’s walking away from anything that doesn’t have my best interest and being protective of my energy. It’s being kind to myself and others as I navigate life’s challenges. Acts of self care contribute to the love I have for myself, and they’re done through frugal means because I don’t feel the need to live outside my means.
A lot of this generation is obsessed with the idea of LOOKING rich in wealth when the REAL wealth is being mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually prosperous. By NO means is it easy to achieve when living in a materialistic world, but every day is a good day to start unlearning a lot of the misinformation we had instilled in us.
Everyone wants to experience a healthy relationship but refuse to do the work to achieve it. It’s challenging, it’s uncomfortable, and everything in between, but if you want better then you have to work toward becoming better. Resources are available and should be utilised if made accessible.
With me being a year almost 2 into therapy and support workshops, I’ve made notable exponential progress and I’m proud of myself for it. I understand everyone’s circumstances are differences and mine can’t account for theirs, but it’s about willpower and discipline. The support groups and other professional resources I’m receiving have helped make navigating tribulations easier, and developing better discernment, it’s protected me from universe knows what.
Being a knowledge-seeker and actively taking the time to unlearn a lot of the toxic things I was either taught, have done, or spewed puts me a step closer to being the version of myself I strive to become and I love it, but I hate how society continues to feed the upcoming generation bullshit that’s negatively impacting them.
I understand those feelings completely. Sometimes it feels like we're just going through the motions, doesn't it? The routine of work-sleep-repeat can be exhausting, but I've found that even tiny changes can make a difference. Have you considered joining any local community groups or clubs where you might meet people with similar interests? Starting small is key - maybe just one activity or one new conversation per week. What kind of activities interest you the most?
I really feel you on this one. Like, really really feel you. I've been in that exact same dark place where days just blur together and the bed becomes your best friend (an worst enemy at the same time)
That thing you mentioned about getting ready and going to work, I get that too. It's like you're on autopilot. You do what you need t do, but then as soon as you have free time, boom - back to bed. It's like bed becomes this safe little island where you don't have to deal with the world.
And about that guy who scammed you - please don't feel ashamed. Like, at all. It shows you have a heart that can love deeply, and that's actually pretty amazing. The fact that he took advantage of that says everthing about him and nothing about you. I've had my share of people who just wanted... well, you know. It really sucks when you're looking for a real connection and people just see you as a body. Makes you feel even more alone
I don't have any magical solutions (I wish I did!), but I want you to know you're not alone in feeling alone. There are so many of us out here, feeling the same way, trying to figure out how to make it through each day.
The thing about depression is that it lies to us. It tells us we're not worth loving, that no one cares, that things won't get better. But depression is a liar. It's just really good at making its lies sound true.
I do consider myself a nerd, so video games, and movies help me to deal with that kind of stuff, do yiu have anything lke this?
@Voltesv such a wholesome reply❤️so mething that I needed so much right now thank you
@Voltesv thanks so much did feel ashamed posting here but I didn’t wanna feel lonely
@Leelee Hey, don't feel ashamed at all! That's literally what this is for, connecting with people who get it. And trust me, so many of us get it. I've spent countless nights just scrolling through posts here because, well, sometimes it helps just knowing other people are going through similar stuff
Sometimes I'll be sitting in my room, playing some game or watching some my comfort show, and I'll think about how many other people might be doing the exact same thing, feeling the exact same way. It's kind of wild when you think about it. Like, we're all separate but somehow connected through these shared experiences
And yeah, some days are still really tough, I won't pretend they're not. I find it helpful just talking about normal stuff, like what shows people are watching or what they had for lunch. Doesn't always have to be about the heavy stuff
@starrrr I am glad that I was able to help someone, truly. This is what I'm here for!
The cycle you're in sounds really tough, but remember that cycles can be broken. Each morning is a new chance. What's one thing you'd like to try differently today?
Life has its ways of testing us, but you're still here, still fighting. That's something to be proud of. I know the feeling of being stuck in a cycle, but every single person has value and purpose, including you. The right connections will come when the time is right. Keep focusing on self-care and building your strength. Maybe try something new. There are so many people who understand and care, even if we're just strangers on the internet
the hardest part is just getting started. take it one day at a time, my friend! if you need to talk, you can write me!
@Mark_92 thanks ❤️
@Mark_92 same just it’s when I’m on the right path a short time the loneliness takes over ruins it
@Mark_92 It controls my life and doesn’t let me live life like others do and I often compare my life to others on social media and wish I had their life seems more great but when I try get disappointed. I let it control my life and all it does make me miserable. I’m doing this to myself can’t focus on anything else besides that
@Leelee how r you feeling today, friend?
@Leelee i get what you mean about the loneliness thing. like sometimes i'll be sitting in my apartment playing video games and realize i haven't actually talked to anyone face to face in like three days. it's weird how that happens, right? i work from home doing tech stuff so most days it's just me and my computer and maybe ordering takeout. i'll catch myself having full conversations with my dog lol. i've been thinking about maybe getting a car for traveling. the older i get the more i realize everyone's just figuring things out as they go. what kind of stuff do you like to do when you're not working? i've been trying to get into cooking lately, but mostly just end up with semi-edible experiments haha