Toxic Family and Loneliness

Hi, I'm 25 and still leave with my parents. I had moved out when I got in College but was forced to come backbdue to phycological issues(depression , OCD).

I never had a good relationship with my father(even calling him that feels wrong), he was abusive in many ways. The last years he sstarted he's been... a bit better. It's like I can't face on accuse him of anything but he is always making me feel small and insignificant.

My mother on the other hand, is the person I am closest to in the whole world she's good and kindhearted but she goes through some serious problems with her health and I feel like she has changed. I know she's not happy with my father but she refuses to change the situation which I try to respect but also feel that this strained relationship is the main reason of my degrading mental health. I don't have any friends so my mother is my rock and I want to share things with her and talk and laugh but she ... doesn't. She's always dismissive and condescending. She's always too busy for me and even though I know she loves she puts my psycological needs last. And whenever I try to talk to her it always turns into a big fight and she accuses me of not understanding and of wanting everything my way.

I feel lost , lost in a vast sea without anyone or anything in sight, just water. I want to move out but my parents have started a "psychological war" against me by asking me to not leave and I on the other side I'm not sure I will be successful if I do... I feel like a burden and a problem, like I'm not strong enough and even though they don't say it out loud their dismissive behavior is loud enough.