Post
raynor
1y ago

My addiction.... That I want to beat

Hi everyone!!! I decided to write about my problem, as I decided to end it once and for all .... I'm still a young man, but I'm not getting anywhere with girls. I haven't tried very hard, though. I don't know what to talk to them about and how to communicate with them.....


That's how my school life went, when I didn't have a girlfriend and didn't even go on a date. At university, it was the same. I played computer games, watched porn, and that was it. No girls. I started to feel inadequate, everyone else had one and I didn't.


Something began to happen to me - porn was no longer so exciting either. I had to look for more "edgy pictures". And I had to show in public that I was "normal".


One day we were drinking at a party. And someone had invited some girls who were "easy-going." I was tense and scared, "What's it gonna be like?" And for good reason, because it was bad.


I realized in my younger years that I was "off" and couldn't relate to girls. And that the only thing left for me to do was porn. I've sunk into a deep depression. I avoid people because I'm "not complete" and spend my time with porn. But I want to fight it. I'm sure there's something I can do about it....

Specialist answer
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Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

Exposure therapy is effective treatment for this.

Through exposure therapy you can develop healthy coping mechanism. This can be done with help of therapist. This is gradual and begins with small steps. You basically have to do this:


  • Sit down and visualise a women. Just see a women and see how you feel around her. visualise and write down everyday your feelings. Do this for a week. everyday visualise a women and see how are you feeling. Everyday when you see a same women you will slowly start feeling emotions changing. Then start slowly seeing images of different women.


Then next week visualise women talking to you. how do you feel about that. what thought runs in your head? Everyday see the same women talking to you the same thing and end of week see if you are able to respond back. Write down again everything.


This would take longer time but will help. Gradually the fear of facing women would be reduced.


  • Practise what you have to talk to women you meet for the first time. look in the mirror and talk. It would feel awkward initially but it would strengthen your muscle memory in speaking to new people. Don't over think what you say. Just be your self. Speak your heart out. This way thoughts will flow easily. You don't have to prove how interesting your thoughts are. It is to be your real self.


  • Imagine what all worst case scenarios may happen if you meet a women. See how well you can handle situation in a better way. Look at the scenarios as third person and see what advise you can give to your friend who is going through same. Will that advice work for you as well. This technique will also help you in being prepared if situation like this arise.


  • What according to you means " incomplete". To become complete person what is needed? how can you work on those?

  • Write down one positive trait about yourself each day. Like you are caring, helpful. There are so many good qualities in you so by not talking to girls or connecting with them doesn't change your traits or identity. You have lot of other qualities you need to be proud of and that makes you unique. Just embrace it.


  • If you are scared to meet a women then try initially apps where you can chat with them.


Keep going through the process of meeting women to fight fear. You slowly would become grow more confident. Keep going through the process and desired results will come.

langos
1y

Hi! I couldn't get past your problem!!! it's not that bad...you're just used to porn and that's why it's like that with girls...switch!!! it's an addiction, so lock yourself up...and meet girls...!

trantow
1y

My sympathy and acceptance!!! I'm sure there is a way to combat this!!! Your salvation is an empathetic kind girl....As they say, salvation is in love...

buckrid
1y

Dude! Don't worry about porn!!! It's normal to get aroused by porn!!! You'll find your own girl!!! What are your years!!! Look at life positively!!! Well, dwell on the problem and it will pass...

gunnar
1y

I want to sympathize with you and tell you that everyone has such an effect from porn that they end up doing poorly with girls. my boyfriend, when he was being treated for porn addiction, completely banned himself from watching and was only with me

trant
1y

Hi!!! a friend of mine has been struggling with a porn addiction, so I thought I'd write to you. First of all, you need to get it out of your life completely. And try to socialize with girls. Exercise can help erectile function, because after porn it gets worse. Contrast showers and meditation to relieve anxiety.

lynn
1y

I sympathize with you...because I read that this is a serious problem in guys...good for you for trying to fight!!! you will do well!!! read as much as you can about this problem...everything will be fine!

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