My anxiety goes away and I feel better

Thank you all for your support on the site! A miracle happened! I have a client who is completely satisfied with me. No matter what I do. I made him a project of the house, and sent it to him with shaky hands and pressed the button. While I waited for an answer, I gnawed my fingers until it bled, broke the cup, yelled at my wife. And here! A letter from a happy customer arrived. It became easier for me to breathe. But that's not all! After that, my client placed a new order on the website of the "remote workers" and said that he would choose the best performer. Since the order is large and the payment is large. Designers began to register under my client's project. And I saw my former boss! His firm also applied for this order. The ground just went out from under my feet. Now my former boss will see my candidacy and everything is ruined. And they will choose it, of course. And I was not mistaken. My former boss wrote to me: "Are you a nonentity, you don't know how to do anything in design and still qualify for this competition?" I didn't answer him, but the anxiety attacks became severe and I couldn't work that day. I didn't sleep well either. By morning, I was so "eating" myself with thoughts of my worthlessness that I decided to withdraw my candidacy from the site. This was not possible, for various reasons. I prepared to embarrass myself. Of course, I worked for that client, but my former boss is a high level. I received a notification that the client has completed the competition. I was afraid to open the site. Then I received a message from my former boss "you're a freak." And the guess flashed in my head. I opened the site and saw that the client had chosen me!! It was a stunning victory! I've become better than my former boss, always yelling at me ... Maybe now I will have anxiety attacks? I hope so, because they haven't been since... I dared to reply to the message "you're a freak", the message "yes, I'm better"