Post
br
brenden
1y ago

my ex-wife hit me, and I threw her out of the car....

I have already received support on the site and I am grateful to all those who are not indifferent! I have a situation again!! My ex-wife was recently hit by a car. But no, not directly hit, but pushed slightly from behind when she stopped in front of a crosswalk. The car was also no longer driving, but rolling slowly, and the impact was not severe. From the sudden jolt my wife fell down, but from the injuries only a bruise. But the wife's scare is intense. She can't walk down the street now, she's always looking around. And I drive her around, helping her. She's an ex-wife, but she's a human being. But how can I help her? She shouts before every crosswalk "let a man through!". I feel sorry for her, but my patience leaves me. And then, I was in a hurry and I passed in front of a pedestrian. Yes, I broke the rules, but it was in the yard. And she hit me! Yes, she did! And she yelled at me for not letting the pedestrian pass. I opened the door and threw her out into the street. Yeah. I did a bad thing, but I can't do it anymore. She called later and apologized. She said she didn't know what was wrong with her. Promised to get treatment. I don't feel good either.

Specialist answer
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Family issues
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Veena Choudhary
1y
Specialist

One incident has created a phobia in here and now she is finding it difficult to cope with it.


Symptoms of this phobia:

  1. chills when seeing that place or street
  2. Dizziness
  3. Excessive sweating
  4. heart palpitations
  5. Nausea
  6. Shortness of breath
  7. Trembling or shaking
  8. Emotionally she would be going through confusion, feeling out of control, inability to concentrate on anything else.


With all these symptoms it must be difficult for her to cope. We need to work on the trauma to help her. Kindly reach a therapist. Therapist would suggest few techniques as well which you can do to help her.


  • Exposure therapy:


Exposure to fear situation in a safe environment helps reduce the fear and decrease avoidance. She has to vividly imagine the feared situation and recall or describe the traumatic experience in details in order to reduce the fear. So therapist may show you photos of the same car, cross walks and get the response from your wife. Therapist would repeatedly show these things to make your wife work on the fear.


  • Hypnotherapy:


it uses hypnosis to try to change the behaviour to certain conditions. it involves putting you in a state of deep relation in order to access subconscious beliefs, thoughts and memories. Hypnosis will help you to change unwanted thoughts and behaviour. This a therapist can help you do it. therapist will aim to do this through suggest and increasing your self awareness.


Following things you can do to help her:



  • Journalling


Ask her to write down in journal:


>>> what is worrying her?


>>> what creates fear in her?


>>> what emotions she feels when looking at car passing pedestrian? tell her to name the feeling.


>>> what worst could have happened in this situation? compare what has happened to her and analyse the situation


labelling the emotions will help her to get clarity of what her fear is all about.



Recreate the situation :


ask her to repeat the entire incident or write it down. then ask her now to look it in third person perspective and see how she can change the outcome and what has she learnt from he situation. what advice she would give to the face who had gone through such incident.

sk
sky
1y

Why'd you throw your wife out of the car? I hope she didn't fall too hard. I can understand you too, she hit you...I hope you'll make up.

xo
xoxo
1y

How long have you two been divorced.? She may not be over your relationship

br
brenden
1y
Author

@xoxo I'm recently divorced, and it's not even a year. I think she had a lot of reasons to be excited when I threw her out of the car. But she also hit me in the face while driving!

br
brenden
1y
Author

@Veena Choudhary Thank you! I'll tell you about your advice to my wife, I hope she will listen to me

kr
kris
1y

It's understandable that the wife is stressed and hasn't gotten over it yet..... Try to understand it more!!! Especially since she's already worried about her behavior

ma
markscaleigh
1y

You're still in a relationship! Maybe you'll live together again! Your wife obviously cares for you!!!

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