Ouch! What a story!! My sympathy for you, friend!! How did you get into it!! It's hard to lead women!! Well, now you will only meet with one?are you worried and are you ashamed? Don't worry, the girls probably forgave you a long time ago.
Amazing story!! I've only dated three girls at a time in my life! and it was hard, you had to remember who I said to whom) but you are confused specifically) don't worry about your years)
@Veena Choudhary I wanted to clarify my story, as you probably did not understand it accurately and therefore advised me something that is not suitable for me. Your advice for someone who wants to live the kind of life with girls that I did. I don't want to do it anymore, I've repented and I'm ashamed and I want to calm down. I have one girl now, and I'm not gonna have many.
That's what happens when you want a lot of good things. Imagine giving that much energy to one girl...! But you've gained experience!!! Don't worry! Hello to your sister! Sister, it's an experience to choose the staff.)
What a story you've had!!! How did you manage with so many girls!!! Did you really like it, or were you a "collector" for self-gratification? The main thing is that it's over. Don't worry, you had to do it for a reason.....
I'm amazed by the story!!! I want to sympathize, so much effort and for nothing.... And now the feeling of r guilt... Doesn't blame himself for long... Those were your wishes... Why justify yourself for them? And you've already made up your mind about your mistakes
The confusion you are having about i don't know what i have been doing wrong . You can clarity on this with few introspections:
1.Firstly you need to question yourself what do you want in terms of dating life style design:
Do you want to date lot of women for long time or is your desire to be actively looking for right women for you and then shifting into a long term relationship once you found that person. You need to decide what is important for you casual dating or settling down. Question why do you want to date so many women at one time:
Find out the real reason and see how it solves your confusion.
2.Be honest with your vibe:
Whatever you have decided just clearly express it out. If you are looking to date multiple women at same time and you are up front about that then woman who is not into from the start would just walk out in the beginning itself. This way you don't confuse women with careless mixed signals and handling so many things to cover it.
if you are doing this for fun or attention then see :
3.Reasses your style of dating:
You need to learn to enjoy this process. So think how can this be done with too many things involved. Simply think what do you really like and don't like in dating life , what do you want in your life? how to show affection and receive affection? To receive affection what do you think women wants?
4..Look at the entire scenario as a third person and say what you would have advised to your friend who had gone through this? what do you think went right and wrong? how you could have changed the situation and handled it?
i hope this helps.
i am extremely sorry for the previous response. i think i did not put it in correct way. let me reframe few things.
Finding peace within yourself is easier said than done. We have all done things we are not proud of or wished we could have done things differently. Forgiving yourself is key to moving forward. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it's ok to have such feelings. Take care of yourself both physically and mentally as forgiving yourself wont happen overnight and may take time.
Reflect on yourself:
When you say why is it you feel ashamed or guilty of what you being doing wrong. Ask yourself first :
How do you want yourself to be?
Who do you want to be?
what have you learnt form your past mistakes?
what advice do you give to yourself?
Do you want to talk to any of those people and apologise? want to have a closure?
Self forgiveness:
Self forgivingness involves taking responsibility for your action and moving towards self compassion. Consider these questions and write down what you are feeling :
>>> Whom did i hurt the most
>>> What kind of pain did i cause physical, emotional/mental
>>> What do i feel when i recall those situation or events?
>>> What would i do differently i i could go back?
List and reflect on your values:
Write down list of values you hold as many as 6-8. values based on what is important to you or what guides your decision. example could be respect for others, sacrifice or humility etc. rank values based on most important to least important and then elaborate on these values like write paragraph about how does this value guides your thoughts, actions. Notice how this value reflects your life choices and who you are. This activity would broaden your self view and not see yourself as damaged or inadequate or ashamed.
Adapt a new mindset by learning from your past :
Set goals for the future that helps to promote a better and stronger mindset. Focus on the positive changes you can make.
Quit playing the tape:
It's human nature to keep replaying the situation in our mind. While some processing is important but going over something again and again wont allow you to be calm. Whenever you have such thoughts just focus on one positive thing about yourself or just distract your mind by going for walk or doing mindless techniques like:
Forgive yourself. Once you identify what you are feeling. write it down and accept the mistakes are inevitable. let go of it.
Show Kindness and compassion:
It's time to show kindness and compassion to yourself. Take time, patience and reminder to yourself that you are you are worthy of forgiveness.
Practice PERT:
Pert means positive emotion refocusing technique. it is a 45 second strategy to use whenever you start beating yourself over past things. Simply close your eyes, draw in a long breath that gently pushes out your belly then slowly exhale as you relax your belly. Draw a second breath and exhale. On the third breath create a mental image of someone you love or a beautiful place or any image which makes you happy . Breathe deeply as your mind explores the natural beauty around you. Notice how you feel and allow those feelings to centre on the area around your heart.