I do my best to keep an open mind and refrain from pre-judging others but people continue to affirm why I’m right to be selective social. I’m not only heartbroken to learn a space I believed to be safe for fostering connections was a carefully curated illusion crafted by unsafe and toxic people, but I’m constantly reminded that others will celebrate you until they start perceiving your success as their failure. Now you’re a threat and they switch up on you.
Over the past few months I’ve been working two jobs that align with my passion and genuinely bring me joy, but I find myself experiencing conflict regarding the beliefs and mindset of my colleagues. I can agree to disagree with trivial things such as favourite foods, colours, travel ideas and animals, not when it comes to defending abusers, upholding ignorance and condoning bigotry.
At one of my two new jobs I was told by a manager that I exude quiet confidence which empowered me more than anything to pursue a supervising position. While I’ve not communicated this to anyone, I don’t intend to after hearing from two colleagues how majority of the staff is composed of grown adults who act like high schoolers with mean girl mentality. Everything from bullying, sharing confidential information without consent, retaliative behaviour upon reporting inappropriate conduct, gossiping about one another to being openly flirtatious/sexual toward each other, I’m beyond grossed out.
Where I’m at now, all I care to do is complete my shift and head out. I’ll keep things professional, speak when spoken to and continue holding space with myself. Age doesn’t define maturity but a person’s life experience does. At over 25 years old, your frontal lobe has developed, you understand the concept of right and wrong and you should have proper communication skills. Call me judgemental but it’s genuinely embarrassing to be an adult and still engage in immature behaviour like this.
I don’t intend to close my heart from potentially safe connections just because of my current situation, but it’s disheartening as fuck to see how fake and insufferable people can be.
