I am 19 yrs old today. I am getting panic attacks and suffering from anxiety since I was 12. I didn't understood it at that time but, with the time I got to know it. Life is been hard since I was 4 yrs old. My Childhood is been traumatic. At teenage I got escaped to my hostel. But, teenage didn't treated me fair. I broke up with my bf and later after few months still I wasn't moved on and he met an accident he died in it. It was damn traumatic for me.. It still is. Ay hostel these girls bully me a lot. They always take out topics about my ex and past. I want to talk with them about it. But it feels like I am tired, I don't have enough energy to deal with life. Day after tomorrow I have my practicals. Still I am not able to concentrate on my studies just because of my mental health and that's what these girls want. I don't know now I am scared, nervous, anxious, tired all at same time.

Like a real diagnose I mean.

I had a mild social anxiety disorder, but I was not officially diagnosed with and obsessive-compulsive disorder for years, which lead to an age of doubts and suffering. When people think of OCD it’s usually about germs, control freaks, or worries about whether you’ve locked the door. But, as with many mental health problems, it’s just not that easy. It cost me months of anxiety, nights without sleep, problems at work and zero effect from medical treatment.

I was told to increase doses, that I had Borderline disorder, that maybe I was not yet realizing I was getting better. Only when my second therapist advised me to visit a psychiatrist and we began talking about depression and why exactly it all returned to fears that never proved right but still persisted and ruined my life… that’s when OCD came up. The thing is, it’s not about a particular set of fears or one particular obsession. It’s about the pattern that goes on and on, often in such ways that you don’t even see it. I’d become obsessed about my health and new moles, then switch to thinking about my dog’s health. Then for days I’d worry about my future, that I was secretly homosexual, that I had no mental problems at all but some disease… My brain would cling to each of these doubts and obsess about it. Then I’d come to the therapist and we would talk about manias... I began to question if he actually knew what was wrong with me, but not soon enough.

I’m super thankful that in the end, I was prescribed antidepressants, with a diagnosis somewhat better than the initial one. But how many people like me waste time and money being misdiagnosed?

I don't know what's going on. Hi everyone, I'm 18 and I'm a lesbian. When I was a kid I liked guys, but then around 13-14 when I found out that you can like girls, I felt like I liked them more...? (so I think I might have daddy issues or something like that, so. I used to kind of like guys, but I really like their attention to this day. Like, "I'm in a relationship with a girl, but if this guy gives me attention that would be cool! I like to be the center of attention!" I don't think I'm bi because I can't imagine having sex with a guy or being in a relationship. I feel comfortable to be with a girl and I would like to live my life with her, I like to get attention from a girl, kisses, etc... now let's get to the problem. when I realized that I am not hetero, in my country everything was more or less fine with same-sex relationships...how? nobody cared about it. I was in a long distance relationship with a girl for 2 years and I loved her and she kind of loved me too. as I realized after the breakup, our relationship was not healthy at all. She lied to me, she ignored me a lot, she seemed to love me but sometimes she could just get offended. she lied about everything, about being raped by a guy, about the people she was dating, she said her parents beat her up, etc. I was a fool and really believed it all (although I had my doubts and they were justified). eventually she started to ignore me a lot saying "that's it, we're breaking up". one time we had a political fight and she wanted to break up with me, but she kind of gave me a second chance. I didn't know she was seeing someone else at the time...as time went on, I experienced the same insults from her friends. And when I said, "Don't hang out with that person, they talk shit about me, I don't like it, but it's your choice. I didn't push too hard but it was in this context approximately (before that she insisted that I stop communicating with my friend or she would leave me, I had to do it) another situation happened: she had a friend who lived next door to her and they didn't communicate live but often texted each other. My ex liked to make herself cool and pretend that she was experienced in sex. At the time I was a virgin and did not really talk about sex with her, I was not really comfortable, but something I trusted her. and once my account in the app was blocked and I asked her for a while, she said "no problem" and in the dialog with this guy I accidentally saw "My girlfriend is such a slut, she does fisting". I was shocked. I had never done that in my life...I cried for a long time after that, because I felt uncomfortable and like I was humiliated. Also there was something like "my girlfriend has big tits, like two planets" this was also unpleasant for me, especially the fact that she tells this to a guy I don't even know. after a few months she started to ignore me hard, just write rarely, I could write to her she sits online, but does not answer, just reads. it drove me to tears and hysterics..I thought that everything will be fine, but I thought that everything will be fine. but when we were on the call and I was discussing our future like "oh, it would be cool if we got a kitten" it was at this point that she said "I want to break up with you" (I think it's very nasty of her to do that at this point) I started crying, begging her, etc...but she just told me to fuck off and disconnected. Then I texted her "can we be friends?" she said no and I accepted it...But the most disgusting thing was that when I was crying and suffering she just texted me "I'll think about it till morning and tell you my decision" I was broken and cried all night, hoping that in the morning she would say it's ok etc...She woke up and texted me "I'm blocking you, bye! "After a few days I found out that she had cheated on me. she immediately started dating a girl the day we were separated. and that girl turned out to be a friend who humiliated and insulted me..hmmm so there you go! now I have a new girlfriend who loves me to bits and treats me well and with respect.

But the problem is that after our breakup my country passed a law banning "LGBT" now if you are gay or lesbian you can go to jail...for 12 years. I'm really scared to write this now a little bit...in case they find out. but now I want to go to the main problem.(I'm very anxious, I suffer from overthinking and bad thoughts) At some point after the ban and distance with the girl, I started to feel like I'm attracted to guys...(I never dated a guy and all my 3 ex were girls)it's like my body makes me love them. I'm just looking at an almost at every guy and get a very weird feeling in my belly..I thought, "Okay, if you're bi, it's okay, don't worry about it," but it got worse at some point, like I started reacting to any guy, or to their voice like it was supposed to make me I don't know into him. I pushed those thoughts away. I also want to add that my mother doesn't know about my orientation and I often hear "such a nice guy,tall,handsome,cute,sucker" and it makes me feel even worse>_< I realize that if I react to all guys this way it could be anxiety and fear of falling in love with a guy. Help me please. What could it be? How to treat it? i really need your opinion, maybe someone has faced this before!

I am Mashiyath Rifa Ehsan from Bangladesh. I am suffering from mental depression from 2008 during which I was 16 years old. Till now at 2023 it turned into borderline personality disorder. My elder sister is a sablian and an LGBT. She has been abusing me physically, mentally and sexually since childhood. Things turned worst from 2005 when she joined a Chartered Accountant firm where she got into some troubles ànd fell herself into depression. From then she created a living hell in my life. I am on psychiatric medications and sleeping pills. With the support of my parents she found a wild chance to suppress me and oppress me. Now my parents uses medicines to divulge and derail my mind so that I forget everything and wish and pray best for her and carry on my life on their terms and whims/wishes. They do not care about seeking proper treatment and counselling for me. There is always intensive family financial crisis. Treatment in Bangladesh is very expensive añd non efficient. What will I do and what can I be able to do, I do not know. Can you offer me time for my healing? I am so lethared and derailed that I cannot even open my cell phones during the morning. I attempted suicide many times. I have become violwnt and agitated and break and throw things.I do not know what to do. Neither so I have money to seek treatment nor my parents are interested in seeking treatment for my mental health. Feel like finishing off my life.