We’ve all experienced conflict at some point in our lives. It’s unavoidable and can be anxiety inducing, but if given a safe space to communicate and involved parties respect, love and value each other and the relationship enough to be solution-oriented, any challenge can be overcome with collaboration.
As a content creator, using social media is imperative to stay connected, create revenue and achieve my mission statement and recently, I’ve noticed an alarming amount of people publicise private affairs that resulted in having to disassociate with others they called friends. Often time, the videos end in them saying, “Do not trust anyone who remains neutral in ANY conflict.”
I was unsurprised to find people disagreeing in the comments but only because it’s TikTok. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter) are infamous for having users anyone would have the displeasure of interacting with just because of how miserable they are, but the creator wasn’t wrong.
Anyone who remains “indifferent” in conflict is NOT your friend. It’s not about “drama” or “taking sides”, it’s about safety. Using a personal experience as an example, at the time of coming forth and speaking my truth to my assailant’s next target, she essentially said she’s neutral because she “didn’t know the full story.” If I come to you from a place of concern to inform you of someone’s abusive, predatory or questionable conduct and you decide to remain acquainted with them because you’re “neutral” or they “didn’t do anything to you”, you are not my friend.
My trauma aside, it is a matter of SAFETY. Anyone who cares about you would take that at face value and respond accordingly. I understand not wanting to be mixed up in petty drama but there’s a difference between drama and someone warning you about an active perpetrator. I also understand not wanting to believe something without conviction but myself personally, would rather support a potential liar in good faith than to actively protect an abuser.
Some situations do require nuance so in that context it’s understandable, but when it’s something as serious and potentially traumatising as that, it’s different. True friends and loved ones wouldn’t willingly associate themselves with someone who hurt you just because they haven’t hurt them, that’s why I distrust anyone who remains “neutral.” It’s weird and I don’t understand the mindset.
